I'm Lo Mansfield, your host of the Lo and Behold podcast, mama of four Littles, former labor and postpartum RN, CLC, and your new best friend in the messy middle space of all the choices you are making in pregnancy, birth, and motherhood. If there is one thing I know after years of delivering babies at the bedside and then having, and now raising those four of my own, it is that there is no such thing as a best way to do any of this.

When I am on my Instagram, one of my favorite questions to ask, you know, like throw a question up in stories and just get the responses, is describe what labor pain feels like, or describe what you know the pain of labor and birth feels like, because I am telling you the number and range of responses that you will get.

Essentially felt like a bowling ball was falling out of her butthole, and I have never forgotten that feeling because she's not wrong in that. The pressure that you feel at that moment in time, you know, kind of end of labor pushing all of that, it is something else. But I wanted to talk to you guys today about.

Labor pain and specifically the idea of pain-free birth and what we're supposed to do with that and how we're supposed to hold that and what we're supposed to think about it when it's brought up on social media. Or maybe we see educators talking about it, or maybe your best friend tells you, Hey, my birth was pain-free.

In general, I do feel like. That there is the possibility that those who talk and teach about pain-free birth, and not necessarily a specific person is doing this, but the way that we interpret the pain-free birth, especially if we've never experienced it or if it were our goal and it didn't happen, is that it often can be made.

To make us feel like we somehow did something wrong. If pain-free birth was our goal and we then experienced pain, there's this mentality or this idea that I wasn't strong enough, I wasn't in charge of myself enough, regardless of how your labor or birth went, that you still think somehow I have.

If you had felt pain, then you somehow think that you have failed. And so I kind of. Write at that right away and say it's absolutely universally unilaterally. That is not true. I do not think any pain-free birther would teach that should teach that. And it also is just simply not true. Experiencing pain in labor does not indicate failure in any way, shape or form.

And obviously, you know, as you're listening to this, that. The universal or more common majority opinion is that, heck yeah, I experience pain in labor every single time. And so kind of holding that, but also knowing that there are people who teach this pain-free birth and who believe you can achieve it as well.

That it's not something that only is available to certain people. That it is something that can. Be achieved. Will I tell you that I had them? I did not. And we will get into that more. Not even close wasn't a goal. But again, we will talk about that later, but I don't think it's this cuckoo thing. I want you to hear that.

So if it is your goal, I hope that what I'm telling you next and what I'm sharing next can help you achieve that or understand how it's possible if it is not your goal. Great. Then I have a ton in here for you too, because we are going to discuss all of it. I think when we start this conversation, one of the first things to do is just get at pain, understanding pain at more of a chemical or physiological level.

Those are biological. Those are. Physical causes a pain, and you know, yes, they hit nerves and things and signals to the brain, and we have this whole process going on that says, Hey, I'm hurting. And the brain's talking to your body from what it's experiencing, and you feel pain. The other factor that I think goes into this is.

The other thing that I think that's really valuable in this conversation is the fear, tension, pain cycle. And that is something that really. Explains the interplay between these two factors that I just talked about, the biological and then that psychological, so body and kind of mind, heart connection. So the fear, attention pain cycle, and I'm gonna use labor examples while I explain this essentially, is this idea that the more fear that you have, the more pain you will feel.

And I actually, I saw a post on Instagram a while ago, and it ruffled a lot of feathers. And if we're being honest, it didn't, I didn't love the way it read as well, but you know, a lot of posts are just meant to be like, clickbait, get you to read and learn more. So I've done that as well, so I'm guilty of that.

So essentially this cycle tells us that, let's say we're scared about labor pain, right? And yes, I've been there. What's it gonna feel like? I don't wanna do this again. It's feeling worse. It's getting harder. I have absolutely experienced all of these things in my births. so essentially what happens is as we are fearful, it creates tension in our bodies, right?

We start to clench our fists, we clench our jaw, we hold our shoulders really tight, we're doing these things, that kind of cause our body to lock up, right? So our mind. What we think, what we are fearful of is impacting what's going on physically, right? And so you can see how this fear can lead to tension.

This is why at a very, you know, foundational level, why it's so much of labor advice specific to pain is relax. You know, relax your jaw, release your hands. Drop your shoulders. We're trying to get rid of tension because it actually then means you will experience less pain. So let's go back. When we are holding all that tension, we hit that contraction.

It is painful and it is possibly more painful because we were so tense and nervous and scared headed into it. So the pain has. Increase, or it is bigger than maybe the prior contraction, and all of a sudden we're stuck in this cycle and our brain's telling us, I knew it. I knew that was gonna hurt. It was horrible.

And that cycle actually starts with those kind of psychological inputs of pain, which are the mind the heart, you know what your brain is telling your body about the pain. So all of that I think is really fundamental or crucial to understanding labor pain. And then what we do with that is we step into that and go, okay.

Now, where do I land in this spectrum? How do I think I can navigate this? What do I, how do I think I can kind of step into this and handle my own labor pain? So let's go into this pain-free birth topic specifically. So we have that knowledge, this understanding of what pain is. And now we answer the question, is pain-free birth truly, truly real?

That you can almost truly kind of close the gates between what your brain is telling you and what your body is experiencing. Because we cannot stop what is going on physically, right? Like your uterine muscle in labor is going to contract. You cannot stop that. It is necessary. It is important. It is what we need it to do, but can we kind of step in the middle of the signals and the things that are going on between mind and body and experience pain-free birth?

The experience of, you know, that quote unquote typical experience of pain during labor. And it is proven. You know, we have research or, or things that show us kind of, that look at all these connections that I'm talking about that show us that control over your mind does decrease the labor pain experience.

And again, going back to what I said, I think you can see how these systems work together. How in theory you can get in the middle of a and stop that pain and that specific kind of. Pathway that I'm talking about or that ability to kind of interject yourself or control into this process. It's about the central nervous system control.

And obviously you've already picked up, up on I'm saying how they might do that, because again, this is not something that I experienced, but I do believe it's possible and real. And so again, I want to share the ways that people are navigating this and kind of chasing that goal, if that is what it. Your goal is as well.

Okay? So how can we potentially experience pain-free labor and if anything, experience less pain. So childbirth education classes. This is just a proven strategy that essentially education, good education, comprehensive education is going to decrease fear, right? And so as soon as we know that your brain's gonna go, oh, that fear, attention pain cycle.

I think there is a way to hold fear and look at it and go, there are some things about labor that are unknown. That's hard for me to sit with, but it also doesn't mean I'm going to walk into this. Fearful tense, unable to kind of process, manage and move through some of the things that I know are coming or that might be coming.

So I don't think the goal is total fear elimination. Perhaps someone who's really chasing pain-free birth would say that is the goal, that we are not going to feel any fear at all. But in general, back to my initial point, is that childbirth education. Can kind of get at the heart of that fear, diminish it, and then we see the subsequent value of that.

And so much of those are about this very, intense powerful control over your mind, which. We don't need to go over that again. You already know. It just has this massive trickle down effect. Aromatherapy, music, relaxation and deep breathing, touch and massage, all of those are on the list as well.

Those are a lot of those other kind of basic comfort measures that you see a lot in just the unmedicated birth conversation, right? All of these are shown to create safety, create calm, create peace, which you know now is that psychological control. We're hitting that. And when we do that, then we have less tension, less pain.

Okay, so that is kind of, in my opinion, this kind of broad understanding of pain-free birth. Is it real? What does that mean? What are people talking about? You know, how are they going to chase it? The next thing I actually wanna talk about is pain tolerance and why I personally feel like why your pain tolerance has nothing to do with how you will handle labor.

And I think this is valuable for those who are pursuing pain-free birth and those who are just. Having a baby in general, so that's you as well. Listen up. I do not care if you have a low pain tolerance in life. I do not care if a paper cut sends you reeling. If a bee sting makes you weep. None of that, in my opinion.

Predictable. That's why I think people can learn and that they can take classes and actually then say, oh my gosh, I am surprised with myself. I actually stepped into this in a way. I had no idea I would. And yes, let's say the reverse is true as well. Like I'm not gonna be dishonest about that sometimes.

Okay, so leaning into that a little bit more pain tolerance in your regular life is not an indication of labor tolerance. I say this a lot on my Instagram, we talk about this in your body, your birth course that I teach, an educate inside of as well, the pain of labor contractions. And the pain in your regular life, they just aren't the same thing.

So what we have going on is a lot of the physical aspects. Again, I talked about those physical inputs of pain, those are the same, right? Something's happening in your skin, in your tissue, against your body. Physically. There are similar things in regular life that might be going on and could be compared to physically things that are going on in labor.

So I doubt that I'll be able to handle labor pain as well. You just can't compare those two because while the physical parts could be similar, these psychological what's going on, the emotional components of all of that, those are not the same. Okay? So that's why labor pain. Pain in regular life, you cannot compare the two.

Okay? That's the first point. My second point in all of this is labor pain is pain with purpose, and I kind of already hinted to that. But nearly all of the pain that we experience in life outside of childbirth, it lacks a purpose. It will feel senseless, right? You often have this, like, why is this happening to me?

The pain of labor does not lack purpose, right? The reverse is actually true, and it is some of, I would say, some of the most purposeful, if not the most purposeful pain that you may ever experience in your entire life. So even if you do not like how you feel in labor and you want it to stop, right, you want that end goal.

You still have emotionally going on this conversation in your head that I'm going to meet my child today. What I'm going through right now is going to lead me to my child, and that is going to significantly impact your tolerance of what's going on. Okay. Third point in this tolerance conversation, your body responds differently to labor pain than it does pain outside of labor.

Why would you have an unmedicated birth? And that conversation ties in directly to this point because having your tooth pulled is something that you know is not supposed to happen, right? Your body doesn't kick in with all these mechanisms. Like today's the day we're gonna pull a tooth. So here's all the ways that I'm gonna help you.

We need medication to walk through that. Because there are things going on that in theory aren't supposed to happen, right. However, in labor, there are all of these designs to encourage and help that process, right? And so we're talking about endorphins that kick in processes that support labor. We have this interplay between all kinds of hormones that literally show up during labor when you're experiencing pain.

And that's why people can achieve and medicated birth and certainly why people can, you know, chase after pain-free birth because these systems are at play, not the same when you break your leg. Not the same when you pull a tooth. So I just, I cannot stand that argument comparing. Those two types of pain.

So third point that, and then fourth point, that idea that anyone can handle birth better than expected. And we already talked about this so I won't ramble on it about it at you again, but essentially I just want you to hear again, don't. Doom yourself to a certain experience based on your history, maybe.

And essentially, you know, going back to that idea of education being so incredibly valuable for a pain-free birth conversation, but also any labor conversation. Is that right This moment, you know more than you did 10 minutes ago and you know more than you did yesterday. So I want you to leave yourself room to surprise yourself.

Okay. I think that there is a lot of possibilities here. You've got a big role here and that you need to leave yourself space for how this might look and how this might play out. Okay. Third big kind of overriding thing that I wanna talk about in this pain conversation as well is what if you think pain-free birth is not for you?

And I hope if you're someone who was listening for a. This part of the conversation that you haven't dropped off, you're still here, you're listening. Because I think those first kind of two big points, some people could peace out and be like, oh Lord, is that really what she's talking about? I think labor's gonna hurt.

But you also know I'm gonna experience pain at some point in this whole process. Okay? I don't know where you are, but assuming that you are coming at this saying, I don't believe, or I'm not into pain-free labor, or, I just don't wanna make that a goal, let's talk about that. Okay. And I wanna say, I know I've mentioned twice, I am not someone who experienced pain-free birth or labor, that this was more me.

And so we'll just be honest about that. Labor, in my opinion, is painful. Was painful, has been painful. And I see all the interplays of how all these systems work. But I have gone into them, especially after experiencing it my first time, and I have said. Essentially, in my brain, I believe that this will be hard.

And potentially get those unmedicated birth goals. So that's kind of how I approach this. I believe labor is going to be hard. I think it is going to hurt, and I wanna learn about the tools and the ways to minimize that. I think it is also totally okay. To not think you can have pain-free birth and still be wildly confident.

That is how I have felt walking into my births. I've seen plenty of moms and patients walk in the same way, and so I think it's totally okay to have that. That's not a dis toward anyone with different goals. It's simply something that I think is absolutely okay. You can have a little bit of fear. We've already talked about that.

Regardless, even if pain-free is not the goal for you, you can't do nothing walking into this. So let's talk about some questions. To ask yourself or you know, things that I also thought about or ask myself ways I approach my own birth, and kind of work through some ideas that you may have about pain as you just get ready to walk into your birth.

I think one of the first big things to talk about, think through maybe inside of whatever course you're pursuing is kind of. Figure out some mentalities from the education you're getting is what are your expectations about pain? And obviously we're addressing a ton of these right here. What could be true, what might not be true?

Is there bias? Is there slant? Is there judgments related to those people or the inputs that have shaped your perceptions of pain? And then the question kind of at the end of that of do they need refining? And again, you're here, you're learning. So in my opinion, you're already refining. I don't know where you'll land, but you're already kind of molding and shaping your, either your expectations or what you think about pain and how you wanna move forward with that.

So I would ask you, as you're prepping for your birth. How are you learning? Who are you learning from, and is it, open, honest, comprehensive? Is it giving you that freedom to take in information and then decide how you wanna apply it to your life? I think that's so important for birth education.

Is that freedom to then decide? This is what I'm going to do with what you've just taught me. So that's 0.2. Second thing I think is really important to think about as you walk into your labor. The third thing I want you to understand, the emotional signposts as they relate to pain, especially I. They play such a specific role in your labor and your birth.

Could be so powerful there that you don't, see these on display as much. So I would, I would bet that internally you would still be feeling them, but essentially there are these changes in your emotions that happen along with labor stages. And I'm, I'm gonna do a podcast episode about these tying together with stages so you guys can understand them at a really kind of basic level.

What they mean, but emotional signposts are not this woowoo crunchy thing. They're really, really cool. And I've actually personally experienced them, so I know that they are real and I have seen them in my patients and my moms that I've taken care of. Looking back too, especially 'cause a lot of my births happen after I was a nurse at the bedside, now I'm so much more cognizant and aware of these emotional signposts and so I can think back to so many patients and I think, oh.

Those emotional signposts may even encourage you, and you will find that all of that. Less fear, right guys, less tension, less pain. All of that is gonna tie into your labor pain conversation and the way you're navigating whatever is going on. So. Know those emotional signposts, you can recognize them and use them to kind of navigate what you're going through and what you're feeling during your labor.

Okay? the last thing here that I want you to consider or think about, this is what I'm actually saying. Don't just hold onto this tight, okay. When it comes to labor pain and what you wanna do about it is your breasts are yours. I cannot, what is the word? I cannot say that more clearly, more directly.

Where we're talking about central nervous system control, those psychological, physical connections between pain, those inputs coming in, but it is wild how powerful your lungs and what you're doing with your own breathing patterns can get right smack in the middle of labor pain and. Potentially get rid of it for some of us, diminish it for others of us.

Bring calm, control, peace so that we can navigate whatever we are feeling and this breath work, this power of your lungs. It is not just about unmedicated labor because you are going to want to deep breathe during postpartum, during C-section recovery. Maybe the first time you have to pee the power of your breast.

So just don't disregard the education around the way you breathe, the types of breathing patterns. You can practice these at home, just how it feels to breathe in certain ways. You know, Jay breathing, box breathing. Even those cleansing breasts, things like that, you can practice all of this. So don't skip past that part inside your birth education or your birth course.

Okay. I only utilized breathing as a pain control tool. Okay. That's, I also had, you know, presence, support value. Kelvin was closed by things like that, but my breathing was the only thing essentially that you could kind of say, oh, look at that tool she's really using. And it worked for me, so I know, I know the power of it.

Whether or not you think that's for you, that's up to you, right? And then pursuing that, that's also up to you. Who are you gonna go to? Who's gonna help you do that? Who's gonna help you stand in that? And we talked about pain tolerance and how I absolutely don't think that. Your tolerance of pain now has any impact or should speak at all to how you're gonna handle pain during labor.

And then we've talked about what happens when you don't think pain-free is for you, and how are you gonna kind of approach pain and start thinking about it right now as you prep and get ready for maybe the baby you're currently pregnant with when you're gonna have in the future. Ultimately, I think.

And that the body has different mechanisms to step in and help you navigate it and your, you know, your power, your control, the things you have going on in labor, you can kind of help utilize those mechanisms. That was the whole rambly breath conversation and power. Right. I think another thing I really want you to hear is that we can also teach and learn.

Ways to kind of change how we respond to what's going on in our bodies during labor. Ultimate goal of what's going on in your body during labor and how you feel that's yours. You get to set that. I'm not gonna tell you what the goal should be, but I can teach you and help you learn ways to change how you respond.

You know, specific interpretation or specific experience here for all of us if we just knew the right things or we did this the right way. And that kind of trickles back to that conversation of pain-free birth and maybe wanting it, pursuing it, or wondering if you should be pursuing it and feeling any sort of shame if you finish your birth and you didn't experience it the way you'd been taught or told that you would.

And that's, that's really, if I had a goal here, overall, it would be to eliminate that. You taking that on as shame because you didn't interpret it or experience labor or its associated pain in the way you thought you did and that that's some sort of failure on your part. Okay? So please hear that. I know people who have had a pain-free birth.

That right there, that's the reality that all of those are real. We are not the same, and so our experience, they are not the same. We are unique, so no matter what we know or how we prep, all of this is going to be wildly unique to who you are and to who I am. So we're gonna teach the tools, right? We're gonna teach you how to understand the process, and then we're gonna keep sharing ways that you can navigate what you feel and what your body is doing.

Not just specifically labor pain, but in the entire process. And whatever goals you do or don't have for, for ways going to happen inside of your birth, there is just so much that you can learn and that you can understand about all of this. But at the end of the day. We are unique, right? And I know I've already said that, but I just wanna end here with that.

I am not intended to birth in the same way my sister, my mom, or my best friend did. I am intended to birth in the way my body, my mind, my heart is intended to birth. So if you take. Anything away from that or anything away from this today? I hope that it is that uniqueness.

Thank you so much for listening to The Low and Behold Podcast. I hope there was something for you in today's episode that made you think, made you laugh or made you feel seen. For show notes and links to the resources, freebies, or discount codes mentioned in this episode, please head over to low and behold podcast.com.

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