Let’s be real—bottle refusal can be so stressful. You’re just trying to get your baby to take a few ounces, and they’re acting like you’re offering them a terrible snack instead of milk! I’ve been there (more than once). After raising 4 babies, we have gone through our share of full-on bottle refusals — and we’re currently coming out of a bottle strike with baby #4. If you’re there, don’t panic. You’re not alone and I’ve picked up some tips along the way that actually helped that I want to share with you.
So, now I want you to take a deep breath. Bottle refusal doesn’t last forever, and there are ways to make the process easier for you and your baby. Whether you’re introducing a bottle for the first time or trying to troubleshoot a refusal, here’s what I’ve learned.
But before we dive into all the things about bottle refusal– Who is The Labor Mama and Why Am I Here?
Hey friend! I’m Lo – also known around here and social media as The Labor Mama. I’ve spent my nursing career in labor, delivery, and postpartum, have birthed 4 of my own babies, have labored thousands of mamas at the bedside, have taught thousands of students online, and have even delivered a few speedy little babies with my bare hands (oops).
Here at TLM, I offer online classes about birth, postpartum, newborn care, and breastfeeding to empower you the way everyone should be. The education + support I offer gives you experience, evidence, and empathy; you’re getting all of my years of “clinical” RN knowledge, honestly combined with my real experiences as a mama, nurse, and CLC. These are not your average hospital classes (those won’t do it, I promise), and honestly, birth, postpartum, and breastfeeding don’t follow a textbook or protocol anyway. You need to know so much more than that!
If you want to connect with me further, head to Instagram. There are hundreds of thousands of us over there learning together daily.
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First, start with patience (and a plan)
First things first—this takes time. It’s totally normal for your baby to need a little (or a lot of) practice with a bottle before they accept it. Remember that babies thrive on consistency and a calm environment, so don’t rush the process or put too much pressure on yourself or your baby.
Just starting with the bottle? Here’s when you should introduce a bottle to your baby:
If this is your first time trying to get baby to take a bottle, the recommendation to start is around 4 weeks. If, for some reason, breastfeeding is not well established and you’re still having difficulties with latch, then yes, definitely try to correct those issues first. Once you do begin, consider giving a bottle at least 3-4 times a week (daily isn’t a bad idea!) and trying out a paced bottle feeding method (all covered in The Breastfeeding Blueprint).
If you’re someone who is going back to work, introducing bottles around this time can also give you a few weeks to work out any kinks. Some babies will take to the bottle right away, while others may need time as you try different bottles or even different people feeding them. It’s also possible to have success with bottle feeding initially but run into refusal later on. Waiting to introduce a bottle until closer to your transition back to work could feel stressful if baby doesn’t take to it right away.
8 Tips to Get Your Baby Taking a Bottle
If you’re ready to dive in, here are some tried-and-true tips that have worked for us—not just for the initial bottle introduction but also for navigating seasons of bottle refusal. Whether you’re introducing a bottle for the first time or troubleshooting a little resistance, these strategies can make a big difference:
1. Let Someone Else Try
If you’re breastfeeding, your baby might associate you with nursing and be less likely to take a bottle from you. Sometimes, having someone else offer the bottle can make all the difference. Whether it’s your partner, a grandparent, or a trusted caregiver, give them a chance to try while you step out of the room. Babies can be surprisingly open to new things when mom isn’t around!
2. Introduce the Bottle at a Happy Time
Timing matters! Don’t try to offer a bottle when your baby is starving or cranky. Instead, aim for a time when they’re happy and calm—like shortly after a nap or during a quiet moment of play. A relaxed baby is more likely to explore and accept something new. With all of my kids, the best time for us to try has always been right after the first nap. That’s always been my kids best nap of the day, so they’re well rested, happy, and most importantly–hungry! *In the months where my kids have been swaddled, we’d often leave them swaddled too. Everything we could do to catch them (or keep them) sleepy, groggy, and calm – we did!
3. Experiment with Nipple Flow
Usually I’m all for the slower nipples to mimic breastfeeding, but with our experience we just had we actually had to go up to a faster flow. Not all nipples are created equal, and some babies are very picky about flow. If the milk comes out too slowly, your baby might get frustrated, but if it’s too fast, they could feel overwhelmed. Try switching to a nipple with a different flow rate to see if that makes a difference.
4. Try Nipple Play (No Pressure)
Sometimes, babies need to get comfortable with the bottle nipple itself before they’re ready to drink from it. Let your baby play with the nipple—no pressure to latch or drink, just exploration. If they can hold it themselves, let them. If they can’t, you can just pop a finger into the nipple and gently “play” with it around their lips. This low stakes activity can help them feel more familiar and comfortable with the bottle over time.
If they do keep putting (or allowing) it in their mouth and sucking on it, try putting a tiny bit of breastmilk in the nipple so they start to see how that process works together.
5. Create a Chill Environment
Babies can pick up on your stress, so a calm and cozy environment is key. Dim the lights, turn on a sound machine, and snuggle up with your baby in a way that feels relaxed and familiar. Definitely put your phone down if you’re trying to multitask! A peaceful setting can help both of you feel more at ease, and this is especially helpful when your baby is older and gets easily distracted!
6. Change the Nipple Shape
If your baby is going back and forth between breast and bottle, make sure the nipple shape on the bottle is breastfeeding-friendly. Some bottle nipples are designed specifically for babies who switch between the two, which can make the transition smoother. Not sure where to start? Here’s a few of my favorites:
Changing the nipple flow can also be helpful as well. Typically, I recommend a slower flow nipple, especially when you are starting out, as this will closely mimic the normal work and effort your baby has to make to get milk out when breastfeeding. However, if you have a fast letdown or your baby is older, it may be time to switch up to a higher flow. It’s possible that a baby can get frustrated with how long the bottle takes compared to what they are used to at the breast – and that can cause refusal.
7. Switch Up Feeding Positions
Sometimes, it’s all about finding the right position. My current baby decided she likes to be bottle-fed while I’m standing up—because of course, right? 🤷♀️ Try holding your baby in different positions, like a cradle hold, an upright position, doing side-lying paced-feeding, bouncing on a ball, or even while walking around. You might stumble upon the magic combination that works for your little one.
8. Offer Snack Bottles
If the thought of wasting milk stresses you out (I get it!), try offering smaller bottles—just 1 ounce at a time (this is a great thing to do when you’re first introducing, too). Snack bottles are a low-pressure way to help your baby practice without worrying about waste. Plus, offering milk when they’re not super hungry can make the process feel more casual and less stressful for both of you.
Final thoughts about bottle refusal? Hang in there, mama.
Bottle refusal is tough, but it’s not forever. With patience, creativity, and a little trial and error, you’ll get there. When you’re in it, remember that the primary goal is always a fed baby. If they are refusing that bottle? Feed them otherwise! No withholding or delaying is needed, and we don’t ever want to create that type of stress around your feeding relationship.
Ultimately, every baby is different, so what works for one might not work for another—but don’t give up. Keep trying, stay calm, and remind yourself that you’re doing an amazing job (because you are).
Have you experienced bottle refusal with your baby? Share your story and tips in the comments—I’d love to hear what’s worked for you! -xx Lo
Loved this blog post? Here’s some others you’ll probably like:
- Traveling With Babies: How To Travel With Breastmilk & Formula
- Power Pumping for Low Milk Supply
- Eufy Breast Pump S1 Pro: Eufy Breast Pump Review
More resources (and freebies!) for you to take a peek at:
- Comprehensive Birth Plan and Birth Priorities templates
- A complete Third Trimester Checklist
- The RN + mama of 3 Ultimate Packing List
- The Labor Mama online birthing classes for every family
