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Speaker: Motherhood is all consuming.

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Having babies, nursing, feeling the fear of loving someone that much, and

there's this baby on your chest, and boom, your entire life has changed.

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Speaker 2: It's a privilege of being your child's safest space

and watching your heart walk around outside of your body.

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Speaker 3: The truth is, I can be having the best time

being a mom one minute, and then the next time questioning.

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My life choices.

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Speaker: I'm Lo Mansfield, your host of the Lo and Behold podcast, mama of four

Littles, former labor and postpartum RN, CLC, and your new best friend in the messy

middle space of all the choices you are making in pregnancy, birth, and motherhood.

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If there is one thing I know after years of delivering babies at the bedside and

then having, and now raising those four of my own, it is that there is no such

thing as a best way to do any of this, and we're leaning into that truth here.

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With the mix of real life and what the textbook

says, expert Insights and Practical Applications.

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Each week we're making our way towards stories that we participate

in, stories that we are honest about, and stories that are ours.

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This is the lo and behold podcast.

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Lo: All right, friend.

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I have got a birth story for you in this episode and it's

one that as always, I'm so excited to share with you.

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Priscilla was a student of mine in your body or birth, and so I've

gotten to know her pretty well, you know, virtually at least, right?

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So lots of messages back and forth.

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In the last weeks of Priscilla's pregnancy, I got lots of messages

postpartum two, as she was processing the birth and recovering,

you'll kind of hear some of that while we talk, but ultimately I mix.

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Excited to share Priscilla's story because it is one that

is not perfect, I think that's a good thing for us, right?

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It is so good for us to hear the full spectrum of birth stories and remember that birth

is unpredictable and we don't always know where it's going to go or what it's going to do.

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But what we can do is show up kind of armed with all the info and knowledge to

navigate wherever it goes and whatever kinds of twists and turns that it does take.

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Priscilla's story is just a great example of that reality.

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Hey Priscilla, thank you so much for being here with me today.

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First of all, I introduced you like a tiny bit before we got started, but why don't

you give us some more kind of personal, fuller introduction of of who you are.

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Priscilla: Sure.

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Sounds good.

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Well, and first of all, let me say just thank you so much,

such a privilege and an honor to get to chat with you.

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My name's Priscilla.

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I live in Vancouver, British Columbia, and Canada, with my husband and our two daughters.

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My, second is eight weeks old today.

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And we.

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Yeah, have lived here for about, well we've lived in Canada all our lives.

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And I work, we both work from home, in the business tech sector.

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But I'm currently on maternity leave and yeah.

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Mm-hmm.

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Excited to be here to tell, a bit of my story and how I, came in contact

with Lo and the Labor Mama platform and how it's been such an incredible

resource, for me in, in my journey of birth and, and motherhood.

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Lo: I feel like I had two things in there.

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One, we could have a separate episode on how two parents work

from home with two little kids in the house because we are working

through that in our house all the time and how to navigate that.

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And then I know you mentioned we're gonna kind of, I think,

focus in on your most recent birth story since you're fresh.

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But as we get into it, I'd love to hear kind of the fir whatever you wanna share about

the first one and what brought you to the place of where you're at with the second one.

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Wanting things to be different or the same or whatever.

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So why don't we start there.

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You could either jump right into pregnancy with number two and

just include kind of that first birth, or you can give us a

little recap of first experience and then get into number two.

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Just go for it.

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Priscilla: Yeah.

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For sure.

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I will definitely start with my first, because I think it's

helpful context for kind of where I landed with my second.

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And that's when I first kind of came across your platform.

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However, however, Instagram kind of floated your, your profile my way.

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That's when I first connected with you and, was just

such an incredible resource through my first pregnancy.

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So I, I, I should have mentioned my husband and I will be married 10 years.

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This coming October, which is fun.

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Congrats.

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Uh, Thanks.

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Mm-hmm.

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And I didn't, going into pregnancy, like I don't think I had

huge aspirations or, or goals for my pregnancy necessarily.

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And I had rightfully, both my pregnancies have been released smooth.

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I've felt pretty good throughout.

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So I'm one of those people that like enjoys being pregnant for the most part.

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Which I, yeah, I'm very grateful for.

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And then somewhere towards kind of the, in my third trimester,

I would say I picked up, ina MA's Guide to Childbirth.

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Mm-hmm.

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A friend had recommended it.

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And I think between that and kind of your platform, I started going

down this path of like, man, I, I wanna see what my body is capable of.

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I'd love to try an unmedicated birth.

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And, and see how that goes.

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And just felt kind of like I was starting to get excited about that idea.

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And then also I think I, I reflect back on both, both

my mom's, my mom and my mother-in-law's experiences.

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They both had three kids.

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And at the time, like epidurals, my mom would explain it like they weren't.

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Weren't allowed to have them, or they were hard to get.

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Yeah, definitely.

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Like, definitely the doctors were very much like, you can do this.

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Mm-hmm.

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And so I often reflected on their experiences.

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I was like, both of them had, three kids without an epidural.

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So like, if they did it, I can do it.

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Why not?

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Right.

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So that was kind of my mindset.

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Then, at my 35 week appointment, I went in for

a checkup and I knew my baby wasn't head down.

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'cause I could feel her head very predominantly up kind of by my ribs.

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But I was like, oh, it's no big deal.

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Like, I've still got five weeks.

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And I, I distinctly remember my midwife.

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You know, feeling around checking things.

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She's like, well, this is a, what we call a variation of normal.

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And I was like, uhoh.

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Like, what?

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No one

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Lo: wants to hear those words, right?

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Yeah.

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Priscilla: And so she starts to tell me that my

baby is like pretty settled in to my pelvis mm-hmm.

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With in their, like, their bum isn't my pelvis.

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And I remember kind of being like.

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Kinda as the reality of her new set it set in.

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It was like, okay, so your baby is breach And it, and she

was like, I don't like, I, I don't think they're gonna move.

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Mm-hmm.

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But I was so, and I remember feeling pretty emotional about that and disappointed.

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Like what?

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Yeah.

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Like I've been doing all this kind of prep and planning, which

was minimal to be fair, but like getting excited about it.

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And then of course I went into full on type A, like, I'm gonna

do everything under the sun to try and get this baby to move.

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So I did everything from like Chinese medicine, mo combustion.

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Yeah.

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Which we always laugh about.

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My husband's a cold.

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I'd probably try

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Lo: it too.

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Yep.

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Priscilla: Burning coals over my toes.

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To an ECVI turned ECV around the, somewhere between

the 37 and 38 week mark, which was intense for sure.

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It was not successful.

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And yeah, she just was bound and determined to come out with her.

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Instead of her head.

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And I, I did have some conversations with, my team

about, you know, a potential vaginal breach delivery.

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Mm-hmm.

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Knowing that it was not likely to be successful as a first time birthing mom.

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And I kind of, where I had landed with it was like, if, if all the, the stars align.

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And the right, OB is on.

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'cause I was in a hospital where there were certain obs who would consider doing that.

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That's great.

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And I went into labor spontaneously before my scheduled C-section, like, okay.

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Then I would try it.

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None of that ended up happening.

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My c-section was scheduled the day before.

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She was due.

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Do, okay.

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I'm just gonna

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Lo: clarify.

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I heard that.

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Right.

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So you were at a hospital with providers willing to do a

vaginal breach birth if you went into labor spontaneously.

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Did I hear that right?

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Priscilla: Not, not all of them, but there were a couple.

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Yes.

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Lo: So it was, so it would have to be like not just a No.

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That's really interesting.

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I mean, it feels like it's just almost an absolute no.

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Everywhere in the United States.

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Yeah.

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Priscilla: So where I give birth, it's, BC Women's Hospital.

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Right.

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And so they're, you know, kind of.

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Cream of the crop in terms of, of care in, in our province, certainly.

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And yeah, it wasn't everyone, but it was certain, certain providers.

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So it was like, really, I would have to, like, things

would really have to line up if it was gonna happen.

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Lo: Right, right.

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Priscilla: Okay.

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Thanks.

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It didn't.

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Yeah, no problem.

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Yeah, it did.

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So

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Lo: anyway,

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Priscilla: so yeah, so, so went into the hospital the day before I was.

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Due, we didn't know the gender.

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It was really fun, and it's just a weird experience.

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You walk in and you're like, tr like, yeah, gonna have a baby.

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Didn't go, had no signs of labor.

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I, I maybe had one or two times where I was like, oh, was that a contraction?

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Mm-hmm.

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But really minimal.

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Had my c-section.

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Like it honestly went really smooth.

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It was really special.

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Had my music playing, got my husband, got to announce the gender.

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I got to hold her right away.

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She came out really healthy, like there were no concerns.

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We had lots of skin to skin time.

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It was like I looked back on it and it was really special.

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And I say that all because I, I think I'm unique in the sense that like, it wasn't.

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A traumatic birth experience that led me to this

place of being really intentional about my birth.

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Right or wrong, it's just, it is what it is.

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Yeah.

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And I feel really fortunate in that regard actually.

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So yeah, but right away, like I knew, I was literally like in the hospital

the next day being like talking to my husband about like the next one.

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Like, I was so excited.

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I was just like high, high, high on the endorphins and so excited.

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Yeah, and so then I just knew right away like that for my second, I would want

to try for a vbac, and just kind of start all over again and be like, mm-hmm.

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We're, we're gonna do this.

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Like, the chance of me having a breach again is like, so minimal.

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And, they had done, I forget what it was called, but some sort

of, scope examination of my uterus to check and see if there was

any like particular reason why she was breach and there wasn't.

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Okay.

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So yeah, so that's kind of like part one of my story, I would say.

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Mm-hmm.

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So then part, there's like three parts.

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So part two would be like the, the pregnancy, number two,

pregnancy and kind of leading up to labor and delivery.

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Yeah.

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Let's hear, once again really like, positive pregnancy things went really well.

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Of course, as I was approaching those like last few weeks, I was like

very keen to get in and make sure she was head down and all these things.

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And she, she was, I, I say she surprised it, it was a girl, but, didn't know.

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Again, we kept the gender surprise, which is always, we really like, it was fun.

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And yeah, in that pregnancy, I kinda went into it with, with

I would say four goals as I like, thought about my birth plan.

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So one, I was, I knew that my likelihood of a successful VBAC

would, be strongly influenced by going into spontaneous labor.

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So that was like my first goal, but my second goal was to like, have that be back.

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And then thirdly, I was hoping, hoping to do it without an epidural.

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And fourth, hoping to do it without kind of any, any medicine.

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Mm-hmm.

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And having those, I would say like prioritized goals was helpful for me so that I didn't

walk away from the pregnancy, or sorry, from the delivery, feeling like pass fail.

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But it's like, here's the goals and in the ideal version, I would hit all four.

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Mm-hmm.

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And then we'll try and tackle them kind of in, in priority order.

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And in order to kinda do that, I, I really did lean into, like the

hypnobirthing world, through a few different books that I had read.

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I didn't take a course or anything, but just different books and, and

then I listened to like a, listened and watched a ton of birth stories.

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Like I think my husband was like, oh, my word, like, joy is wrong.

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Mine's same.

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Just coming, yeah, coming out to the living room,

seeing me like crying on the couch watching.

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Right.

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Exactly.

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Delivery.

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But I just love it.

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It, it was so exciting and ins inspiring to see a huge variation and I made sure

to really prioritize, like seeing, you know, those induction births, seeing mm-hmm.

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Home births, hospital births, kinda like everything in between to know it's like

it's all good and it's all beautiful and it can go a hundred different ways.

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Yeah.

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Was kind of the mindset that I had.

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So yeah.

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Then I think that the other thing I would say about it is that I was unique in the sense

that like, so I'm this second, second pregnancy, but really like a first time laborer.

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Yeah.

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So as I was like talking to my friends, they're like, oh yeah, that's so weird.

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Like you never went into labor with your first, so that was like

kind of, yeah, just I would say a unique experience as well.

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So then kind of leading up to my due date, which was May 6th, I, wasn't really

experiencing any signs of labor, which tracked 'cause I, with my first, like I said,

deliver, like she had her, she was born via cesarean, like the day before she was due.

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And I also didn't have any signs of labor, so I

wasn't really expecting to go into labor early.

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And I was trying all of the things to like, get things going, around that point.

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Everything from like, acupuncture to, you know, Bates tea?

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Lo: Yep, yep.

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All the things.

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All like,

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Priscilla: all of the above.

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It's a mild circuit, you know, everything.

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I had my first attempted stretch and sweep at 39 and two.

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I had finished work.

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I, kind of like a week before I was due, so I was like, sure, let's, let's do it.

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Let's get things going.

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They tried, my cervix was really far back, so nothing really happened from that.

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We tried again at 40 plus two, so two days past my due date.

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Mm-hmm.

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Same thing, like wasn't really successful.

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I think maybe it had moved a bit closer, but still really firm.

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And I was still feeling really good.

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Like I was feeling great.

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People were like, oh my gosh, are you like so ready to have this baby out?

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And I was like, like, yes, but also I'm okay.

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Like I'm, mm-hmm.

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I'm feeling healthy.

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I don't feel massively uncomfortable.

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So that was definitely in my favor.

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And then right around like the 41 week mark is when I would say I started to.

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Experience a lot of like, pressure from my team and, and

maybe I'll just pause to say like, I was with a midwife.

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Mm-hmm.

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And kind of like a holistic model of care.

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So they also had obs on their team.

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And like the whole postpartum was all in one office is how it works.

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Mm-hmm.

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And my plan was to deliver at the hospital as well.

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But yeah, right around 41 weeks.

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Conversations started happening about like, okay,

we should probably get an induction scheduled.

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And I knew that, like I was preparing for that.

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I knew that was gonna happen.

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Yeah, it's coming.

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And I had said like, you know, it, it kind of from the get go, like

as, as long as I'm healthy and baby's healthy, like I, I don't.

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I want to have an induction because I wanna have a successful feedback.

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And I know that's not gonna, it's not impossible, but it's not gonna help the situation.

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Right.

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But yeah, really started to feel that pressure.

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And it was tough, like mentally, it was quite tough.

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Even though I was physically feeling well, it was hard to stay, stay, stay

the course, stay positive, but I really leaned into my support from my doula.

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I had hired a doula to, to work with.

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And then again, like started listening to more finding, seeking out more stories

of people who went quite ways past their due date, like into the 42 week territory.

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Mm-hmm.

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To just be like encouraged that like, I can do this.

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My body was made to do this.

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I really, you know, leaned into that idea of like, I

have and would say to myself like, I have a good body.

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Mm-hmm.

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My body is good.

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Like, I would repeat that to myself all the time because you start having these questions

when you go past, you're significantly past your due day of like, is this gonna happen?

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What's wrong with me?

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You know, and so those were the things I really, really leaned into.

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And, and voices like yours, right?

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And, and others out there who are doing such like, meaningful, encouraging work.

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Just your circle that you have.

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Maybe I, I don't have of the, you know, 10 or so people

who are close to me, who have these birth stories.

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Nothing looks like mine, so.

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Mm-hmm.

283

So I need to kind of broaden my horizon to say, well, there

are other people out there who've experienced this, so.

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Yeah.

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Going back to the story, it was 41 and two, so it was at this

0.9 days overdue where I went in for another appointment.

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They really wanted me to schedule an induction.

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I said, fine, like we can schedule one for 42 weeks.

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Mm-hmm.

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Just to kind of placate the team.

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But I knew in my head and my heart that like.

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Unless there were signs of concern, I probably would push it out.

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Mm-hmm.

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And so at 41 weeks is when I started going in for that

additional monitoring, the, the non-res test, the ultrasound.

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And I did that twice.

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I, I forget the second time.

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It was 41 weeks, and then maybe three or four days later.

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Mm-hmm.

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And baby was looking good, healthy, they weren't concerned about fluid levels.

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So I was like, okay, well then let's just stay the course.

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Thankfully at 41 and.

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Two.

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I had, oh, I, I think I had another search sweep at 41.

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So in the end I had like five or five attempted ones.

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Next, that's a lot of, a lot of hands.

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That's a lot.

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Yeah.

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In nowhere it's, but at that point, at 41 and two, I, I

finally had like a successful one where, I was two centimeters.

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They were able to get in there, do a sweep, and that was like such a sigh of relief.

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I was like, okay, some, something is happening.

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Something's

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Lo: happening.

312

Yeah,

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Priscilla: my body is moving in the right direction.

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So yeah, that was, that was a Thursday.

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They wanted me to come in the next day to do another one, which I thought was curious.

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'cause normally I was under the impression you kind of wait a couple

days, but I think because we were getting so close to that, like 10 days

overdue, they're like, mm-hmm let's just do whatever we can to help you.

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So I went in, again, went to acupuncture, and then kind of that

weekend I had like some cramping, but nothing really major.

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It was Sunday, which was now, kind of two days before that.

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42 week mark.

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Mm-hmm.

321

That was gonna be the Tuesday.

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That I, that whole weekend actually, I, I was like, I'm just gonna.

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I was feeling a lot of pressure after conversations with my team because

then I got this phone call from the OB in on my team who said like,

you know what, actually there's certain obs I've just learned, there's

certain obs at the hospital who won't induce a, A tolac or a vbac.

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Mm-hmm.

325

Because of the increased risk of uterine scar rupture.

326

Mm-hmm.

327

So I really think, you know, she looked at the schedule and she's

like, I really think you should schedule your induction for Sunday,

because that person will do it, but Monday, Tuesday they won't.

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And that was such a frustrating, confusing conversation

because I was like, a, I don't wanna have an induction.

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Mm-hmm.

330

B now I feel even more pressure than I already

do to like go into labor before this happens.

331

So I think I got a call on the weekend on, I can't remember

if it was Friday or Saturday, like, okay, so, and I had, I

didn't agree to, like my induction was scheduled for 42 weeks.

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I didn't agree to move it, but I was like, thanks for letting me know.

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I do believe she like had the best intentions at heart,

but I was just like, okay, we'll just leave it as it is.

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But then I got a call from the hospital being like, so we see

that you're scheduled to come in for an induction on Sunday.

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And I was like, are you, no, I'm not.

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Yeah, like, thanks, but no thanks.

337

And that was like so annoying to me.

338

I was like, why did they do that?

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Like.

340

But anyways, I was like, thanks, but I'm, I'm not coming in and actually like,

just so you know, I had a stretch and sweep yesterday of two centimeters ated.

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So I think things are gonna happen.

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And I had, then a, a conversation.

343

One of my midwives actually called me to just check in.

344

She's like, Hey, I saw maybe you were coming in, but sounds

like not like really supportive, whatever you wanna do.

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Like I support you.

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Sounds like you've got a plan.

347

And that was so encouraging.

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And so then I just kind of touched base.

349

I was like, yeah, it feels like things might be happening.

350

But yeah, it was, it was just such an intense couple days of.

351

Just a lot of emotion and then like waking up in the mornings

feeling like, so disappointed that I'm like feeling I'm still here.

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I have not gone into labor.

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Nothing happened.

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Yep.

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It does feel like

356

Lo: that.

357

Priscilla: But at the same time, like tried to really, like, tried my best

to like soak up time with like my husband who was off work and my daughter

knowing like there was only a few more days left of just a family of three.

358

So anyways, part three, like.

359

Spoiler alert, I actually went into labor, which was so exciting.

360

So it was Sunday I had gone and got acupuncture, and that was the first

time during that acupuncture session that I felt like I had two contractions

because I, they were really mild, but like they had that like wave, like.

361

Sensation where they kind of grew and then peaked

and came down and I was like, Ooh, maybe this is it.

362

Hoping something would happen that afternoon.

363

Nothing really did.

364

I was so tired that evening.

365

I went to bed at like nine and just like felt so drained.

366

And then I don't think I really slept but woke up around 1:00 AM to what I was like, okay.

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I think.

368

We, I think this is like, I think this is it.

369

I think something's happening.

370

So this was, yeah, day before 42 weeks Uhhuh, 1:00 AM

I'm like laying in bed trying to just chill, relax.

371

And I, but I was also so excited after all of this intense emotion.

372

I was like, it's finally happening.

373

So I think I laid in bed for about an hour, then I went to the washroom to just like.

374

Chill out in there.

375

I think that's, at that point I started like, timing just to see

like, is was there any, kind of consistency or or rhythm to mm-hmm.

376

Them, them and there was, they were, I think about somewhere

between like eight to 10 minutes apart, and between 45 to a minute.

377

So I knew, I was like, okay, this is like early labor.

378

Mm-hmm.

379

But.

380

Something's happening.

381

Texted my doula, let her know what was happening.

382

And then somewhere in there too, like I called my mom.

383

She lives about an hour away.

384

She was gonna come take care of my oldest.

385

So called her in the middle of the night and you know, she was like, waiting bags packed.

386

Happened for like weeks, weeks.

387

She's like, I'm there.

388

Yeah, exactly.

389

Which is great.

390

And just kind of brought me peace of mind knowing she was there in case.

391

Mm-hmm.

392

Things were to ramp up quickly.

393

Given that there was a bit of a distance between us, so she came.

394

Told her the story and that, that was the point where I think

I woke my husband up too and I was like, Hey, just called mom.

395

Like things are happening, but I'm gonna try and go back to bed.

396

Actually, I think I somewhere in there like, did

my hair because I was like, of course you did.

397

Yeah.

398

Oh.

399

Like things might, what if things happen super fast?

400

Like my hair's gonna be done.

401

Just was hilarious.

402

And then I tried, like, tried to go back to bed.

403

And I think I did for, for a little bit, you know, I think I woke up around

like 8:00 AM to like start getting ready, have some breakfast, and yeah.

404

And my goal was to like, I wanted to stay at home as long as I could.

405

And, and really kind of.

406

Embrace that comfort of home.

407

Mm-hmm.

408

Before going to the hospital, it was like, I did

not want to go to the hospital and be turned away.

409

Like, I was like, I'm not gonna be that, that first

time laborer who goes in, which is totally okay if

410

Lo: you are.

411

I just have to say that.

412

But I always feel that way too.

413

Yes.

414

it's okay if it happens

415

Priscilla: and you dunno.

416

You have no idea.

417

No the first time.

418

You have no idea.

419

Mm-hmm.

420

But yeah, so I really kind of leaned into as I was laboring at

home, just a lot of the things that, you know, you, you teach,

421

that kind of are in the hypnobirthing world in terms of, like breath

work was, was a huge, like that, that's kind of the be all, end all.

422

And then listening to like positive birth affirmations, I had

like the Christian Hypnobirthing app that I was listening to.

423

I had a, a birth ball I was sitting on and so I kind of like

just went around our small apartment, which on my birth ball.

424

Laying in bed a little bit, but I didn't, it got really intense when I laid down,

so I didn't really like laying down and, yeah, and just kind of walking around.

425

My mom took my daughter to the park for like three hours, which

was such a gift to just have them kind of outta the house.

426

And then I could just kind of be with, with my husband.

427

I didn't like really need or want a lot from him

besides like his presence, like I was mostly mm-hmm.

428

Kind of.

429

On my own, doing my own thing.

430

We tried every once in a while, like the counter pressure as things got more

intense, but I never really, I don't know if we didn't have it figured out.

431

Right.

432

But I just didn't love it.

433

I was like, no.

434

Like no thanks, just sleep.

435

Yeah.

436

But my goal was to like leave a lot of like the tools I had in my pocket in terms of

like tense machine, aromatherapy, even like hydrotherapy and like being in the tub.

437

Mm-hmm.

438

For the hospital.

439

I was like, I wanna say that to the end and do as much as I can on my own.

440

But anyways, it was around like noon I think when, so just about 12 hours

in where my doula, we had been texting throughout, but she checked in again.

441

She's like, how are things going?

442

And at that point, my contractions were about every

five minutes, somewhere around five minutes apart.

443

And my goal was to go in, at 3 1 1, so like three minutes apart.

444

One minute in duration for an hour.

445

That was when I was like, gonna go in the hospital.

446

We were about, give or take, 20, 25 to 45 minutes to the hospital, depending on traffic.

447

Okay.

448

And so that was what I was aiming for.

449

And I'll also say like, throughout the time I, I didn't do a ton of timing.

450

I was more just trying to kind of like be in my

body and, and just kind of feel what was going on.

451

But anyways, she checked in.

452

Like, how are things going?

453

I gave her the update I just gave you and, and she's like, why don't you?

454

She's like, are you, are you eating?

455

Are you resting?

456

I was like, eating, yes.

457

Like I had been able to eat, drinking lots of water and, but I

was like, I can't, like resting, like, not really, like mm-hmm.

458

I, like, I, I told her, I was like, when I lay down, like I get really, like, it

gets really intense and so she suggested, she was like, why don't you have a bath?

459

Have a 20 to 30 minute bath, then try and lay down and have a sleep.

460

And then, go for a walk to like get things going again.

461

And I was like, oh, like are you sure your path's a good idea?

462

Like, is it too soon?

463

Because I had heard sometimes if you go into the tub, I can slow things down.

464

And she was like, no.

465

Like that's kind of what we want so you can relax, get some rest, recover.

466

Mm-hmm.

467

And then get things going again.

468

And when she was like telling me all this through text, I

was just like, oh my gosh, it all sounds just exhausting.

469

And I think that was like an indication that I was probably like well into active labor.

470

Mm-hmm.

471

And, but I was like, okay, like we'll try it.

472

So I get into the tub, things did not slow down.

473

Like if anything, that's the point where I feel like things really started to mm-hmm.

474

To ramp up and to intensify.

475

Just in terms of my contractions.

476

I like needed my husband there with me, like just holding

my hand as I experienced kind of the intensity of them.

477

And, so my plan, so I was like, ready to get outta the tub and I said like.

478

Okay, I'll go lay, I'll go lay down for a little bit, but I think we need to

start timing them again and see if like, we're ready to go into the hospital.

479

So I kind of made it like the, the 12, 10 to 12

feet between my bed, the, the bathtub to my bed.

480

Yeah.

481

And had like two or three contractions.

482

I laid down for like two or three and I was like, we do not have time to time these.

483

Like, we need to go to the hospital.

484

Yeah.

485

Like, I, I just knew that it was, it was time.

486

So then it was about a half an hour of us trying to like gather up her

stuff, me trying to get dressed, which felt like a big ordeal and exhausting.

487

And, and then I distinctly remember, I'm like leaning on the wall

in our bedroom and I said to my hu, we're about to go to the car.

488

And I was like, I don't.

489

I don't know if we have time to go to the hospital.

490

Like I think this baby might come here.

491

Like, I, I don't know if we can, we're gonna make it.

492

And then we like talked about it and we're like, no, we're gonna go to the hospital.

493

We wanna go to the hospital.

494

So

495

Lo: I'm sure your husband was like, we're going to the hospital.

496

Yeah, exactly.

497

Priscilla: Exactly.

498

Okay, great.

499

No way.

500

This baby is coming here.

501

And so get into the car.

502

It was a hellish car ride to the hospital ride.

503

Oh, it, the contractions were so intense.

504

I swear we picked like the bumpiest road to, to drive down.

505

I was like, I, I'm not a swearer, but that's when my, my fun language started

coming out at all the traffic and I was like, ah, like, get me to the hospital.

506

And yeah, and definitely on the car ride there, I was like, is my body pushing?

507

Like, is this, is this baby coming?

508

Like, I do not wanna have this baby in the car.

509

Like, I was scared at that point, like, ugh.

510

So anyways, he made us to the hospital, babysit, not come in the car.

511

I remember saying to him too, in the car, I was like, do I even need to go into triage?

512

Like I'm sure I'm in active labor.

513

Like they don't even, like, they don't need to check me.

514

Like I'm convinced.

515

And he's kind of sitting there like, I don't know, like, why are you asking me?

516

But sure enough, I go there.

517

Of course, I have to go into triage and get checked.

518

So I get up onto the bed, which was such an ordeal 'cause it

was, it was like so uncomfortable 'cause things were mm-hmm.

519

Happening for sure.

520

They checked me and I was eight centimeters.

521

Lo: Amazing.

522

Priscilla: So I, which was like, so exciting.

523

Lo: Yeah.

524

Priscilla: And then I was like, okay.

525

I was probably like getting into transition mm-hmm As I'm

driving to the hospital, no wonder it felt so intense.

526

And it was funny 'cause I walked into the, like to the triage room, the porn nurse.

527

She was like, okay, well here's your, here's your,

here's your gown that we're gonna get you to put on.

528

And I was like, like, no thanks.

529

I'm just gonna wear my own clothes.

530

Like that was something I wanted to do.

531

And.

532

And then she's like, okay, well we're just gonna get you fitted for an iv.

533

And she's like saying these things also nicely.

534

I was like, no, thanks.

535

Like I don't want an iv, until it's necessary.

536

And then my husband at this point I think said to

another nurse, he's like, can you go get her doula?

537

Like she was somewhere in the hospital delivering another

baby, and him being like, can you go get her to come help?

538

Like, deal with my brain?

539

And so, yeah.

540

Was like kind of right away, like, this is, I, I don't

necessarily wanna do all the things that are typical.

541

Mm-hmm.

542

And I was really, I'll come to this later, but I was really grateful at that point.

543

I didn't get an iv.

544

But yeah, so eight centimeters, they're like,

Hey, let's get get you up into labor and delivery.

545

Got on a wheelchair.

546

They, they wheeled me up and I sat down.

547

I was like, Hey, when I have a contraction, like, we're gonna stop, right?

548

Yeah.

549

She's like, yes, don't worry.

550

I was like, I can't have anything happening.

551

Like I really have to focus.

552

Oh, and in the trios room was where I first got offered, like gas, like mm-hmm.

553

Nitrogen oxide or whatever.

554

It's, and I was like, yes, sounds good.

555

Like, that was something I was always open to and Oh my gosh, that was amazing.

556

I was like, you liked it.

557

This is amazing.

558

Oh, yeah.

559

Yes, definitely loved it.

560

Yeah.

561

Get up into labor and delivery.

562

My room, my doulas there, met my midwife because I was like

in a rotational clinic where there was like 20 plus midwives.

563

So I had met with two or three in my kind of prenatal

care, but didn't necessarily know who was gonna be on.

564

Mm-hmm.

565

Never met her.

566

But she was part of the team, so it was, it was great meeting her and they got

me right away, up onto the bed on my knees, leaning over the back of the bed.

567

Mm-hmm.

568

To, to just, to labor.

569

But, and then they got the monitors on me right away, of course.

570

And I was hoping to have intermittent monitoring, but I knew like

when you first come in, they need to like, have you wear them

for 20 minutes or whatever to just get a, get a pulse on baby.

571

And she did not like that position.

572

Her heart rate started dropping, so right away they

got me onto my back and they were quite concerned.

573

And they wanted to get me to start pushing.

574

So they, they want, they checked me again by

then, I think I was nine and a half centimeters.

575

Okay.

576

Within kind of the span of like 30 minutes from when we arrived.

577

And, the midwife was like, Hey, I'm, I, I'd like to try and help

you get past that last half a centimeter so you can start pushing.

578

I was like, okay, sounds good.

579

So we did that, and I started pushing and it was very much like.

580

Coached pushing.

581

And I think in the moment, I, I had my preference earlier was to like, to

kind of figure it out on my own, to lean into some like breathing, pushing.

582

But because baby's heart rate was dropping and it's again just like

that intensity of the environment, I was like, okay, sounds good.

583

I didn't say that, but I just like to, but you agree?

584

Yes.

585

Yeah.

586

And yeah, so anyways.

587

Then there was conversations around, Hey, husband, like, do you wanna catch the baby?

588

And he was like, no.

589

And, and then they were also talking to me about

taking my shirt off because baby was coming.

590

And there was also conversations about,

591

I can see baby's hair, looks like they have the same color of hair as you.

592

So in my mind, all of those things, especially as I reflected

back on it, were like, baby's close, like this is happening.

593

But then I can't remember exactly what happened, but I, I tried a few different

pushing positions and at some point she kind of reverted and like went back up.

594

And then.

595

Yeah, probably a position.

596

I think it was like a position she didn't like.

597

'cause I was on my back and then I asked if we could try something different and I

moved to like the Tgo, no squatting position I got, I asked if they had a squat rack.

598

I wanted to squat.

599

That was kind of how I had envisioned doing most of my pushing.

600

That's where I feel like I, I would feel strong, kind of an anticipating that.

601

But she did not like that.

602

So then I was back on my back then when she had stabilized.

603

So it was a lot of like, try something.

604

She didn't love it.

605

Stabilize the heart rate, try something different.

606

And yeah, in that process she must have kind of, 'cause

I think she came down to about like zero station.

607

But then in the end, spoiler alert, like she was at like a minus, minus two, I think.

608

So.

609

Yeah, so she, so we tried a bunch of different positions.

610

Then I went to like the tug of war position, where I was like holding onto the sheet.

611

Then I went to the toilet and I spent quite a lot of time

laboring there and that's where I asked for the tens machines.

612

I started using my do list TENS machine, which was really helpful

through the contractions because, and I'd be curious your take on this.

613

As soon as I had started pushing, they didn't let me have the gas.

614

Is that common in your experience?

615

Lo: So my hospital didn't have gas when I was at the bedside,

and they do now, like when I had my babies, but I didn't use it.

616

So I don't have personal experience using it, but

as far as I've always understood it, nitrous is.

617

I'm gonna use the word like, so great.

618

Some people don't like it, but in general, because you can use it like

in combination with an epidural and you can use it really throughout.

619

Whereas some of the other meds, we can't like put it all together, you know?

620

It's like you picked this, that's what you get.

621

So that actually does surprise me because I had

thought that was what was so great about it.

622

And then the caveat to it always, which you know, is that you have to give it to yourself.

623

So.

624

Like you can't, your husband can't hold it on for you.

625

Your nurse can't do it for you.

626

Like you have to be in charge of it.

627

I guess it could be limiting like location, geography wise.

628

Like if you're in the bathroom and it's not available

to you 'cause it's plugged into the wall or something.

629

Sure.

630

But that does surprise me and I mean, yeah, correct me if

I'm wrong someone out there, but I, I feel like that is odd.

631

Priscilla: Yeah.

632

Which as I'm saying it now, it's not something I've ever kind of asked about and I should.

633

Mm-hmm.

634

'cause I'm curious 'cause I really liked it.

635

Right.

636

It was really helpful to me, but for whatever reason,

they didn't want me using it while I was pushing.

637

And it might, I don't know, it might've been kind of early on 'cause things were

just so intense that they're like, mm-hmm You just have to give all of your energy

and, and focus on pushing and then maybe kind of forgot to pick it back up again.

638

I don't know.

639

But anyways.

640

Like pushing on the toilet.

641

Kind of had had a stool under my feet, and was sitting like forward.

642

I spent quite a bit of time there.

643

And, and again, TENS machine was super helpful.

644

Kind of working my way through those contractions.

645

So about two hours had passed of pushing.

646

I was feeling really drained and tired.

647

Mm-hmm.

648

Not actually, not so much physically, but just kind of mentally, emotionally.

649

Mm-hmm.

650

And at this point it was, I think around 6, 6 30 in the evening.

651

So I say my labor started at like 1:00 AM like early labor.

652

So this is, 17, 18 hours into, into the whole process.

653

And they wanted, they wanted to check me again

and they wanted to bring an OB into consult.

654

And I was really hopeful at that point that, maybe when the

OB checked me, like we might be able to use like a vacuum.

655

Mm-hmm.

656

Because I just felt like something needed to shift.

657

I was so like, just ready for, like, I needed to do something different.

658

And so I was.

659

Open to that.

660

To, to keep Yeah.

661

Like to, to get what I was going for.

662

Right.

663

Which is to have sweet and just so eager and excited to like meet, meet the baby.

664

And yeah, so had, had the, oh, I should say also I, but at the same time,

like I kind of knew without kind of knowing what station baby was at.

665

They're not like telling you that in the process.

666

Yeah.

667

Or I didn't ask.

668

But I knew enough.

669

Of what was going on in my body to know she wasn't where she needed to be.

670

Mm-hmm.

671

Like I wasn't feeling enough pressure down below

to feel like, oh, my baby is about to exit my body.

672

Yeah.

673

So when the OB checked me very intensely, I'll say, and they said like.

674

Unfortunately, like your baby isn't far enough

down for us to consider a vacuum or forceps.

675

Like I wasn't super surprised.

676

I was disappointed a hundred percent, but not super surprised.

677

'cause I just, I knew in my body she wasn't where she needed to be.

678

And so then, so then they recommended that I have, a cesarean and that was like.

679

Yeah, super, super disappointing in the moment.

680

'cause I was like, ugh.

681

Like how, how did after all my like hard work and preparation, like how did we get here?

682

And at the same time, as I said earlier, like I, I needed,

something had to give and I needed something to be different so.

683

They made their recommendation.

684

They talk about the risk.

685

They gave us a room.

686

I chatted with our doula who I really like, respected.

687

She had a ton of experience, and had been really supportive

of me and kind of all of my birth goals up until that point.

688

And, and I think she knew how much I wanted this, and so I really valued her opinion.

689

And so I was like, what do you think?

690

And, and she said, honestly, like.

691

I think we've tried everything safe that we can try.

692

Mm-hmm.

693

And I think this is a good plan.

694

And so between that and talking to my husband who was also like, I think we should

go for it, I was like, okay, let's do, no, I, the one thing I said before we, I

agreed to it, is I, I said to the team, I was like, if I had some, had a chance

to rest, got some medicine because she, her heart rate was stable at this point.

695

So I was like, if, if I had a chance to like recover a bit.

696

Could we try some more?

697

Mm-hmm.

698

And they said, you know, you could, but it, we don't think it's gonna change

anything because it's not, you're pushing, that's the problem at this point.

699

Like, it's not, you're like, you're not weak and you're pushing her really strong.

700

It's that she's, she's not moving.

701

And so, like, we don't think that's gonna change anything as effectively what they said.

702

Lo: So did you feel like they were saying it's positional, like for

whatever reason, like this baby isn't, can't come down for some yes.

703

Reason, but it's not you.

704

I don't wanna say it's not you.

705

Exactly.

706

Priscilla: It's

707

Lo: the baby, but yeah, exactly.

708

Priscilla: That's what they were saying.

709

It's not, you're not the problem.

710

So you having more rest is not going to be, gonna change anything.

711

And of course, like I can't change what happened.

712

Yeah.

713

But I do think upon further reflection, maybe in that moment, my whole goal in

that conversation was to not look back at regret and I don't look back at regret.

714

Yeah.

715

But having learned what I learned and having done a little bit of research

after the fact, I think if I were to be in the exact same situation again,

I might say, well, I want to give it a try anyways and see what happens.

716

Yeah.

717

That's, I think if, if I were to do it again, but.

718

But I didn't, and I said, okay, let's, let's do, let's do it.

719

Let's do the cesarean.

720

And then I would say is like the worst, the worst hour of the whole experience was that

next hour, because it was like 6:30 PM So shift change was upon us at the hospital.

721

It took three different nurses and four attempts for them to get an IV in my arm, which.

722

Was the worst pain of the whole experience.

723

It was horrid.

724

I had bruises on my arms for like weeks after the fact, which

is why I'm so glad I didn't get the IV when I first came in.

725

And.

726

Yeah, no, no shame on them.

727

It was just, I don't know, these people were not skilled in this area.

728

And then thankfully they had, I was like, well, can I have the gas back now?

729

And so they did give it back to me.

730

Mm-hmm.

731

So that was good.

732

I felt like for whatever reasons, my reason, my

contractions started like intensifying at this point.

733

Mm-hmm.

734

Which I don't really understand, like physiologically, psychologically, why that would be.

735

And at that point, because I had made the decision to get the cesarean, I was like.

736

Just give me the spinal, like Yeah.

737

Like I don't wanna feel this anymore.

738

Yeah.

739

Because there's no point, like mm-hmm.

740

You tell me baby's not moving.

741

Like, why am I still going through?

742

It's still hurting.

743

Lo: Yeah.

744

And

745

Priscilla: I was so exhausted, like in mm-hmm.

746

In my logical brain, looking back at it, I'm like,

well, I should have just kept trying, but mm-hmm.

747

I was so exhausted and I had made the decision,

like, I was like, we're, this is what we're doing.

748

And it just felt like it took so long to get me into the, or.

749

Raising contractions, getting this IV into me.

750

Anyways, finally we go in there, you know, and I would say, because I had

such a positive, you know, initial experience with a cesarean surgery mm-hmm.

751

I had a lot of peace like going into it, despite all that, like I st I felt pretty calm.

752

Like I had done it before.

753

For whatever reason, I've been just blessed with the most amazing like

anesthesiologists who are just like the kindest people in the world.

754

They're so great.

755

And so yeah, went into the room, our doula was able to come with us, which was awesome.

756

She was just super encouraging throughout that process.

757

Got to play like some the music that I wanted playing.

758

And the team was just great.

759

But it was during shift change and it was quite funny because everyone kept

coming up and introducing themselves to me, which was so professional and kind.

760

But I was kind of like, can we get the show on the road?

761

Yeah.

762

Like, cool, nice to meet you.

763

I trust you.

764

Oh, we can

765

Lo: talk later.

766

Yeah, I wanna

767

Priscilla: meet my baby.

768

Like, let's do this.

769

So yeah, it was just kind of funny in hindsight.

770

They did, did the surgery.

771

It went super well.

772

She came out, crying pink, healthy, you know, which of course was

so encouraging given the fact that she was almost at 42 weeks.

773

And of course there's all these like concerns, but she was great.

774

Like she was great.

775

She was, eight pounds, four ounces.

776

Okay.

777

Eight pounds, four or six, one of the two.

778

And so, yeah, not like, not crazy huge, which of

course is what also what people are worried about.

779

And yeah, they held her up.

780

I got to see her.

781

My husband announced the gender again.

782

They got her on my chest right away.

783

She came out like wanting to eat immediately.

784

My doula like helped her like latch right?

785

While I was like laying there on the surgery

bed, which was really special and really cool.

786

Yeah, and it was, you know, it, it was beautiful and, like sitting there I was.

787

Like felt like equally kind of disappointed that this is where things had landed,

but also so like incredibly proud of myself and like the decisions I had made and

what like the hard work that it took to get there and just the resolve that I had to.

788

Not kind of cave to the pressure and to the opinions of people around me.

789

Like, and well intentioned like people I love being like, well, aren't you worried

that the baby's too big, aren't you, wor like, and it, I was like, no, I, I wasn't.

790

And it was such an experience, like such a journey of like.

791

Trusting myself and trusting my body.

792

And I, I would never say like, I would never say that I was a person kind

of leading up to this experience that was really like in tune with my body.

793

Like I had friends who were like, knew exactly what

was happening and when they ate this, they feel this.

794

And I'm not like that.

795

I'm kind of just like, well, if it's not broken, like it's working.

796

You know, like it's kind of my mindset.

797

But yeah, it was such a journey of trusting myself, trusting my body.

798

Again, coming back to that, that, mantra of like.

799

I have a good body.

800

My body is good.

801

And, and despite, you know, landing with another surgery,

which is not what I wanted, I still had accomplished like three

outta my four goals, which was to achieve spontaneous labor.

802

To avoid an epidural and to avoid medicine, like the whole journey.

803

I had been into the surgery, of course, you know, it was unmedicated.

804

And I was so proud of that experience, not because it got me a medal or

anything, but because it was what I set out to do and what I, really wanted.

805

And yeah.

806

And then, went into kind of, kind of that post-op room, had had an hour to, to

be with her and, and just to have her nurse and right away, with my first, we had

a really rough go at breastfeeding for the first, first two weeks I would say.

807

I mean mm-hmm.

808

Kind of the whole thing got started.

809

It was just tough, like for a variety.

810

Nothing, no, nothing overt, like, not tongue ties or anything, but just,

it just took us a while to find our rhythm and it was really painful.

811

This time around it was such a gift because she knew

what she was doing and I had a better handle on things.

812

Yeah.

813

And it was just off to such a, a more positive start,

which made that experience just so much better.

814

So yeah, I mean, I guess that's probably where I would like conclude the I, I mean,

the last thing I'd say is like through those last couple or those first few weeks

postpartum, I would say like the first three weeks or so, it was tough because every time.

815

Not because she was tough, like she's a pretty easygoing baby.

816

But because every time I would like experience

incision pain while I'm trying to nurse mm-hmm.

817

Or like be frustrated that I can't pick up my oldest and

like put her to bed, because I have to be so careful.

818

It just felt like this.

819

And I think I had expressed this to you.

820

Like it just felt like this constant reminder of what I was.

821

Trying so hard to avoid.

822

Mm-hmm.

823

And one of like the key motivators of why I wanted a vbac.

824

And so I have to like wrestle through that.

825

And then there was this other moment which I had, I had been talking to you

about, messaging you about where I was like, kind of going through my OB report.

826

Mm-hmm.

827

And just trying to like, understand and like reconcile what happened.

828

Right.

829

And which I think is so important and meaningful.

830

And she was in the end, like they said, she was asynclitic so

effectively, like her head was crooked coming down my pelvis.

831

She was kind of like trying to come out like, I don't know how to

describe this back part of her head rather than the front part.

832

Mm-hmm.

833

And so then I was like googling like asynclitic presentation and came across

this spinning babies page that had like all of these things you could try.

834

And I just in that moment like.

835

I, I started crying and I was like, oh man.

836

Like where, where was this page when?

837

And, and I think you just go, for me anyways, I go into

this like, why didn't, why didn't someone tell me this?

838

Or why, like, I got kind of mad.

839

Like, I was like, why didn't, why didn't I try these things?

840

And, and that's when, your, your words were so encouraging.

841

'cause you're like, you, you can't blame yourself for what you didn't know.

842

Like you didn't have that in hand at the time.

843

Like you can't, you can't rewrite the past.

844

And yeah, if I were in that exact position again, or if I had a friend

whose baby was, you know, asynclitic, I'd be like, check out this page.

845

Yeah.

846

Like, try these things.

847

Yeah.

848

And, and there's probably a good chance that we did try a handful of them.

849

You know, like I said, we tried probably like four or five different positions.

850

She didn't like a lot of them, so she was, you

know, a little picky in the womb, but mm-hmm.

851

You know, it, so it was hard because I, I am, and that's my personality.

852

I am always the person who's gonna be like, what, what went wrong?

853

What could be better?

854

Mm-hmm.

855

Like, it's never gonna be a hundred percent, there's always things you can prove.

856

That's just how my brain works.

857

Yeah.

858

And I have to really like, wrestle with that and, and trust that like.

859

It was a, it was a good experience and I learned a lot, and I learned

things that I will take with me forward, into my next birth, you know?

860

Mm-hmm.

861

Like, which I'm hoping to have.

862

And so, yeah.

863

And, and now like I say, I, I say, I think I've mostly come to terms with

it, and yet I'm still here telling you, talking to you and have a few tears

coming down my face because it's, you know, just because I've come to terms

with it doesn't mean I'm still not a little bit sad that it didn't, yeah.

864

Turn out exactly how I hoped it would.

865

So

866

Lo: yeah.

867

But Priscilla, that's like, in my opinion, the whole point of sharing these stories is.

868

Because I think it's such a good reminder to all of us

of how we can kind of like hold multiple things at once.

869

Right?

870

Like you said when you described the second cesarean, it was beautiful and

your face was lit up and like you clearly have so many really good memories of

that cesarean, even though you did not want to be in that or, and yeah, and,

and so obviously postpartum is when you really start to process like, whoa.

871

I also feel really sad too, but I think it is just such a good reminder that.

872

I think even in, you know.

873

I'm gonna say like quote unquote perfect births,

like there's often multiple things still being held.

874

Like it's pretty rare.

875

I think that people just get everything they wanted, and so it can be

more extreme sometimes of how you have to kind of hold two things at once.

876

But I think it's cool.

877

Like I get to see you right now while we talk, and so

I can see you crying while you're smiling or whatever.

878

And it's just such a good example of how, how this goes sometimes and that it's mm-hmm.

879

Mm-hmm.

880

Real, and it can be hard to explain because you, you're sitting

there going, I'm sad and I'm happy and it doesn't make sense.

881

But that's, yeah, that's what it was to have birth like this, you know?

882

So I'm grateful when people like you share stories that don't always go the way that.

883

We're intended or wanted, because I think it's a really good thing

for us to learn from and see so that when we inevitably hit those

moments too, whether it be in our birth or life or whatever, yeah.

884

You can say, oh yeah, I'm allowed to feel both.

885

Right?

886

Because yes, you probably feel, feel this duality at some point when you're a mom.

887

And so sometimes it happens right here when we're first getting to meet our babies.

888

And sometimes it shows up later, but it's gonna show up, you know?

889

Priscilla: Yeah.

890

And then a hundred percent.

891

Lo: And then the other thing I would say is I so clearly

remember getting messages from you after your birth.

892

And I just wanted to kind of reiterate what you said.

893

And you said, I had spoken to you about like, you can't judge.

894

The person you were in those moments against what you learned now.

895

And I just wanted to reaffirm that for everybody listening to is that's something

I go back to a lot when I get to talk to my students and I hear it goes, and

obviously not everyone has perfect birth and, and I don't preach that or teach

that because that's, that's foolish and that's dishonest to say it will always be.

896

Perfect if you take this class or whatever.

897

But I do think we all have this tendency, we, we leave

our births like you, or maybe some of us do this.

898

We start to learn and think about how we could fix what went wrong, and

then we try to apply that knowledge and that wisdom that you have now.

899

Like to the person you were four months ago and, and just, we can't do that.

900

Like in that moment you obviously clearly did your absolute

best with the information that you had at that moment in time.

901

And you know more now and you can take that wisdom and carry it forward, but.

902

The Priscilla you are today is not the same Priscilla you were eight weeks ago.

903

And so, yeah, it's easy for me to say that You still have to like wrestle with that,

but I do like putting that out in the postpartum world of like, I'm proud of you for

all you've learned now, but you don't get to think like that woman in this woman.

904

The same, like you've done more, your wisdom has grown and, and

obviously like you said, Lord willing, if you get to have more

babies, you get to bring that forward, but you can't like mm-hmm.

905

Shift it backwards as much as we wish we could.

906

So, totally.

907

I'm just so proud of you.

908

I read your messages and I thought, obviously there's grief here, right?

909

And we wanna speak to that and acknowledge that, but man,

and being at the bedside too, those moms who come in labor.

910

Push, do the entire labor process and then also have a cesarean.

911

So basically you're having two births in one birth.

912

Like the level of respect and pride and just kind of awe

I had for those patients and for those students or moms.

913

Now it's high, like it's really big 'cause you truly did.

914

All the things.

915

And then that means you're swollen from pushing and you're sore from laboring,

but then you also have cesarean recovery, like physically speaking, your

body has just done so much and you just, all of you, you just weather it

and you take care of your baby and you move forward and it's just kind of.

916

Phenomenal to see, even though it is obviously

hard to live, as I'm sure you can attest to.

917

So I am really, really proud of you as student or as teacher and friend and all of that.

918

Yeah.

919

Priscilla: Yeah.

920

Thank you.

921

Thank you so much.

922

It, it means a lot and I don't know, I think, well, we, we

don't have to go down this path necessarily, but the cra call

me crazy or call me determined or whatever you wanna call me.

923

Like the wild thing about it is like I look back in it and I'm like, I'll do it again.

924

Like, I, like I, there's the grief is not so strong, or the

disappointment is not so strong, or the intensity of it all is not so like

overwhelming that I would be like, oh, I, I would never do that again.

925

Or, or I would just.

926

Go straight to a surgery, you know, because for, for many reasons.

927

And it, and it was so amazing.

928

And that was one of the things I was so looking forward to, like getting to

experience what my body was like designed to do, was such a huge motivator for me.

929

And it was, and it was such a gift and something I was so grateful for.

930

'cause I know it is not something that everyone has the, the ability to do.

931

And, and so to be able to.

932

Experience labor, and in all of its, in, in all of its uniqueness, right?

933

Because it's all so different for everyone.

934

So kind of relative in many ways.

935

And still land.

936

Where I landed, I was still like, you know, it, it, it wasn't so bad that I wouldn't Yeah.

937

Wouldn't try it again, you know?

938

Yeah, yeah.

939

So, yeah.

940

But yeah, it was so, so awesome.

941

Thank you again for, for giving me the chance to share my story and I just hope Yeah.

942

For other women who are out there, maybe in that, kind of similar state of being

quite a bit overdue, pastor due date, like that they can find encouragement.

943

And also just find encouragement from these stories.

944

Right.

945

Like I said, like that's so much of what I leaned into,

during my, my pregnancy and, still, I think still now.

946

I, I love hearing people's stories.

947

There's just something about it that's so, so beautiful and awe inspiring.

948

Lo: Yeah.

949

Well, thank you.

950

That's a perfect, actually segue into this last little question.

951

If people wanted to ask you a question about your story, is there

somewhere they could email you or an Instagram or a social profile that

952

Priscilla: Yeah.

953

Lo: Yeah.

954

You're willing to share?

955

Priscilla: Yeah, I love that.

956

For sure they could probably the best way would just be on Instagram.

957

That's where I'm a millennial, so that's kind of the only platform I'm active on.

958

Which is just my first and last name, Priscilla Nerling.

959

Okay.

960

They can shoot me a message there.

961

Lo: We will share that in the show notes.

962

And then you mentioned like a couple resources.

963

I know you were a student in my class.

964

Anything specific you wanna call out or a book you loved as well?

965

I think you said the Hypnobirthing app.

966

Anything else?

967

Priscilla: Yeah, I like the Hypnobirthing app.

968

And then I think, I think there was a book I read called Calm Birth.

969

Okay.

970

That I, that I quit liked.

971

And then there's another podcast I'll shout out

to you, which is the Hip hypnobirthing podcast.

972

Mm-hmm.

973

Which is like a lot of, stories, just a lot of like birth

stories, which was really encouraging for me as well.

974

Lo: Okay, perfect.

975

Priscilla: We can drop too, know this podcast too.

976

Of course.

977

People are listening.

978

Hopefully they're described.

979

But yeah, huge fan, and, and your page, it's just like huge, like your

Instagram and, and your website and everything, like your courses.

980

It's all so, so valuable and I love the, the voice that you are in this space.

981

Lo: Thanks, friend.

982

Okay, last question.

983

What's one thing in your life?

984

It could be big, small, anything that's just

sparking joy, just bringing you a ton of Yeah.

985

Happiness right now.

986

Priscilla: Yeah, I mean this is gonna be like cliche or not surprising, but I would

say like my daughters, both my daughters in the different stages that they're at.

987

You know, I've got this almost 2-year-old, she turns two next week, and

then this eight week olds who's like exiting the newborn phase and mm-hmm.

988

The contrast and the differences between their stages, just like amplifies and highlights.

989

What's beautiful about both my 2-year-old is just.

990

Chatting nonstop.

991

And she's hilarious.

992

And she's got such a sense of humor and everything she says is adorable.

993

And then my eight week old is like in that really like fun, smiley,

like kind of has a bit of conversation back and forth with you.

994

Yeah.

995

And like her personality is starting to like, you know, she's no longer just kind of.

996

Potato, newborn.

997

Yeah.

998

Vibe.

999

She's becoming like more and more of like who she is as a person.

1000

Yeah.

1001

And yeah, the contrast between the two is just, is so

beautiful and I have to like lean into those things in the hard

moments when they're both crying and I don't know what to do.

1002

You know?

1003

Yeah.

1004

Because that's also so real.

1005

Lo: Yep.

1006

Yep.

1007

Well, sounds like you're doing great.

1008

I know that means a lot of things with 202 'cause that's a whole, that's a whole thing.

1009

I live that too, and And it sounds really sweet

in the midst of what I know is chaos and hard too.

1010

Yeah.

1011

Yeah.

1012

Thank you for being here.

1013

Thank you for sharing your story.

1014

I am so proud of you all.

1015

I'll just say it one last time.

1016

Thanks, Priscilla.

1017

Priscilla: Yeah, my pleasure.

1018

Speaker 4: Thank you so much for listening to the Lo and Behold podcast.

1019

I hope there was something for you in today's episode

that made you think, made you laugh or made you feel seen.

1020

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mentioned in this episode, please head over to lo and behold podcast.com.

1021

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1022

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1023

A little reminder for you before you go, opinions shared by guests of this show are

their own, and do not always reflect those of myself and the Labor Mama platform.

1024

Additionally, the information you hear on this podcast or that you

receive via any linked resources should not be considered medical advice.

1025

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