Motherhood is all consuming.

Having babies, nursing, feeling the fear of loving someone that much, and there's this baby on your chest, and boom, your entire life has changed.

It's a privilege of being your child's safest space and watching your heart walk around outside of your body.

The truth is, I can be having the best time being a mom one minute.

And then the next, I'm questioning all my life choices.

I'm Lo Mansfield, your host of the Lo and Behold podcast, mama of four Littles, former labor and postpartum RN, CLC, and your new best friend in the messy middle space of all the choices you are making in pregnancy, birth, and motherhood.

If there is one thing I know after years of delivering babies at the bedside and then having, and now raising those four of my own, it is that there is no such thing as a best way to do any of this.

And we're leaning into that truth here with the mix of real life and what the textbook says, expert Insights and practical applications.

Each week we're making our way towards stories that we participate in, stories that we are honest about, and stories that are ours.

This is the lo and behold podcast.

I've got a birth story episode for you today.

I'm excited to have Lauren here with me today.

She is a follower of Jesus, a wife, a new mom to one and a pediatric ER nurse.

I love having nurses come on because one, I am one.

So I like to compare like experiences and what we brought into our birth and how that plays a role, right?

Obviously, pediatric nursing is not the same as OB nursing, and Lauren will speak to that as well, but I still think her being a nurse changes her story and in my opinion, changes it for the better.

As you'll hear as well, I do wanna mention that Lauren does speak about a miscarriage and a loss in her story, and so if that is something that feels tender to you right now or not something that you feel comfortable hearing, go ahead and hit pause and just come back to this episode at another time if or when you feel ready.

Hey, Lauren, thank you so much for being here with me today.

Why don't you go ahead and introduce yourself a little bit, share whatever you want about your life, your family, and then we'll just get right into your birth story.

Awesome.

So my name is Lauren Cowley and I am a new mom to a 10 week old little girl named Louise.

And I am a pediatric emergency room nurse.

I've done that.

That's been my only job.

So I went to college for that and then graduated and got a job straight into pediatrics, which was great.

And then, I am married to a wonderful guy named Ben and we are in Fort Worth, Texas and we've got both of our parents close and just lots of family and stuff around us, which is great.

So that's about it.

Oh, I also have a cat named Dixon.

He was my first baby.

Can't forget the cat.

Your first love baby, right?

Yeah.

Yes, yes, absolutely.

How's Dixon doing with Louise?

Is that working out?

Yeah, really good, honestly.

We were kind of worried 'cause he's a bigger cat, he's part main coon and so he's a kind of like a giant cat.

He's not fat just really long.

And so he is 11 pounds and he's still bigger than her by a good three pounds or so.

So we were worried that he would get too like snuggly with her.

Yeah.

Because she's a little hot box.

But he is honestly either just kind of ignored her or he likes to sleep on her like mats and like her tummy time mat and stuff.

'cause it's like cute, squishy, and so, yeah.

He just kind of curls up next to her now when we're like out sitting in the living room, which is sweet.

So,

so far the siblings are getting along, that's great.

Exactly, yeah.

For

now, maybe not when she sit like crawling and being able to pull at him and stuff, but for now, yeah.

Good.

Okay.

So why don't we go back to deciding to get pregnant and just how that looked for you guys or how that went for you guys.

Yeah, so, we actually got married July 13th of last year.

So we got pregnant right after we got, married.

Definitely was not necessarily, planned by any means, but we had, a honeymoon baby and I found out about that pregnancy, like five weeks in or so, five, six weeks in.

And obviously we were really excited.

I was more worried because my husband had just graduated college and he.

I just started a new job in June and we got married in July.

And so there were like a lot of things back to back and then we found out that we were pregnant and obviously that's just a lot.

It can be like super overwhelming.

We also were kind of navigating moving me in with my parents to save money 'cause we were trying to buy a house.

Mm-hmm.

So like we were newlyweds that found out we were pregnant while we were staying in my parents' house and like, just like lots of firsts.

Yeah.

Kind of all at once.

And, I ended up having a trip already scheduled, to go to Alaska to visit family that we have in Alaska with just my dad.

So it was just me and my dad, in August.

And so I went on that trip, on that flight, pregnant, and then I started right before we were gone for almost like a week.

And right before we came home I started spotting.

And I knew that, I mean, I was still at that point, I was, I don't know, seven, eight-ish weeks, pregnant.

And so.

I knew that that could still be normal, but it just kind of kept picking up and I just had that feeling in my gut and in my soul I just knew that something kind of was, something wasn't right.

And then by the, the couple days later when I got home, I just started bleeding out like clots and I, I just knew I, we ended up going to the doctor and like confirming that there was nothing left in my uterus.

My body had completely, passed that pregnancy.

And that was really hard because there was so much, like knew all at once with like being married and going on our honeymoon and finding out we were pregnant and then everyone being super excited.

We told our parents, both sets of our parents and I had told a couple of my really close friends and Ben had told a couple of his really close friends.

But we didn't tell like his siblings or my siblings or anything like that just 'cause we knew it was so new and we just didn't wanna get people's hopes up 'cause everything had just been happening all at once.

Yeah.

And so.

Then it was kind of like, okay, how do we, now we're newly married and we're trying to enjoy being newly married, but we're also grieving the loss of what we thought we were gonna get with that child.

And we very much believe that children are gifts from God, gifts from the Lord.

And so that was hard too, because it felt like, okay, so you started to entrust us with it.

And now I feel like it was kind of taken away.

And I know that men and women process things differently, especially because we, I mean, there's just a different kind of connection that women have with their kids because you carry them and things like that.

But it was hard because we were trying to figure out how to grieve basically like a pretty big loss for the first time together as we had just also gotten newly married and like learning each other's ins and outs and stuff like that too.

And so after that my OB basically said, you know, you could hypothetically get pregnant right off the back of that loss.

Like your body treats it like a really late heavy period and you could, you're gonna ovulate again and you could get pregnant.

But I wasn't really mentally ready to be pregnant again.

And if I'm being honest, we were kind of like, we were doing things to try to avoid it.

Like I was tracking my cycle and I was trying to find out my window that I wasn't gonna end up being, I was trying to not get pregnant again.

And yeah, we ended up getting pregnant again right after that.

So my cycle just said the heck with it and decided to, yeah, I don't know.

So then we found out we were pregnant again.

And so that was obviously a mixed bag of emotions because that's, I mean, that's who obviously we have Louise now and that's from that pregnancy.

And so I'm so grateful 'cause I wouldn't have her if I hadn't have lost our other child.

But at the same time it's being excited and trying to soak up being pregnant, but also being anxious, and things like that.

And things were not smooth with Louise's pregnancy either.

I physically was okay up until right before I gave birth, when I got preeclampsia.

But we, at her 20 week anatomy scan, they thought they saw something in between her heart and her lungs.

And so we got referred to high risk.

High risk, told us that it was A-C-P-A-M, which can be pretty intense.

And like sometimes they need fetal surgery and stuff, or surgery right after they're born.

And then I went to a different, in the same practice, but a different high risk doctor within that practice.

'cause I just didn't feel like in my gut that that was what it was.

And she said, no, I don't think that's what it is.

But honestly, I'm, I don't wanna guess about it.

We're gonna refer you to get an MRI.

So I actually had to go to my work.

Because we're one of the only places in our area to get a fetal MRI.

So I went to work in a patient gown and had the bracelet on and everything and saw my coworkers when I was walking by.

And that turned out fine.

And so then it was great.

We're gonna get released from high risk.

This is wonderful.

But then she was, Louise was showing that she was on the, like eight percentile for growth.

So then we couldn't get released from high risk.

'cause then they were worried that she was growth restricted.

So then it was just another month of constantly going back and worrying about her being growth restricted.

And so it just kind of felt like I didn't really get to settle in and enjoy my pregnancy for very long because obviously I was trying to make it outta the first trimester at the beginning because of our previous loss.

And so then I had a few weeks before we got our anatomy scan and then after the anatomy scan, I got the call at work like, Hey, we wanna look into more stuff.

We're not confident that you know something isn't there.

And then I finally got released from high risk at like 30.

Five and a half weeks pregnant, 36 weeks pregnant.

And then I had Louise, I got induced at 38.

So there wasn't a lot of no breathing room.

And that's one thing that I wish that I would've done more in my pregnancy was try to enjoy it a little bit more.

I mean, that's easy to say and hard to do when you're dealing with all the appointments and unknowns and you know, am I eating enough?

Am I drinking enough?

Like am I doing the most for her?

Especially having lost our first baby, you know, even though I know that it's not anything I did, but that doesn't mean that doesn't feel that way.

So, yeah.

And then I had been, honestly, like I said, I had been really healthy.

Everyone was just kinda worried about Louise, for a while.

And then we got released from high risk and I was just going to my weekly OB appointments and my blood pressure usually runs.

One teens over 70.

Like I'm not, I've never been really close to one 20 over 80.

I'm, if I'm one 20 something that I know that I've got high blood pressure.

Like that's just how, yeah.

How I run.

And so, my last, my 36, my 37 week appointment, it was one 20 something and then 1 29, and then my 37 week appointment, I was one 30, but it wasn't my, diastolic number was still okay.

And so, mm-hmm.

And I didn't have, I wasn't spill protein, so they said, you know, you're swollen.

I was super swollen at that point, but.

We can't basically diagnose you with Pree.

She still looks great.

She's hanging out.

You know, we're just gonna let it wait.

And so I got lunch with my, one of my best friends, Paige, the day before I ended up getting induced.

And, I told her, I said, I just have a feeling I'm gonna go in tomorrow and they're gonna tell me that my blood pressure's high, and then I'm spill protein.

I just feel it.

I don't know why.

I just, I feel like that's what's gonna happen.

And mentally I am not ready for that because I hadn't packed my bag.

My husband and I closed on our first house, two weeks bef less than two weeks before that.

We closed on May 2nd, and I had her on May 18th, so we weren't even moved in.

Mm-hmm.

Everything was a mess.

I hadn't, yeah, it, there's nothing set up in her room.

Our bassinet wasn't assembled, like things were just chaotic.

And so I went into my 38 week appointment and my husband wasn't even supposed to go with me because I was like, I'm just gonna pee in a cup, whatever.

But.

He got off work early that day and I said, he's like, well, I might go to the gym unless you want me to go to your appointment.

And I was like, I just have a feeling I need you at my appointment.

Like, I really just want you to come to my appointment.

And he came and she goes, so you guys are having a baby today?

Because I peed in the cup and like took my blood pressure.

And you're like, I knew it.

Yes.

It was like 1 38, 1 39 over something.

And it, you know, she goes, go home, grab your stuff and then go to the hospital.

So we got to the hospital, that was at like three o'clock.

We got home packed.

I showered 'cause I, I want, I took your birth course and I was like, I know that I'm probably either not gonna be up for showering or like, I'm only gonna wanna do like a little bit of a shower and not a full shower.

Yeah.

And it's not all my stuff and I'm not packed anyway.

So I was like, I'm full blown showering.

So I got in the shower, my husband was packing our stuff, kind of frantic packing and.

We got to the hospital into, OB triage at like 6:00 PM on Friday.

And my blood pressure when we first got there was 1 62 over a hundred.

Wow.

And, I wasn't symptomatic though, you know, the nurses and being a nurse too, you try not, at least I try not to be like, I'm a nurse because I don't.

Right.

I know, I know kids really well.

I don't know.

And labor and delivery is like so out of my wheelhouse and so I was just kind of sitting there, but I knew that that was obviously not, that's not good.

I know that that's not normal for adults.

I,

I just keep thinking too.

Like I can't help but think like, oh, I wanna say this to everyone listening.

Mm-hmm.

Knowing your own normal blood pressure is so valuable because like 1 28 over 84 is not high for like so many people.

Right?

But if, you know, I'm always like a hundred over 65, like that can be a little trigger like you were saying of like, this isn't normal for me.

And obviously they were paying attention and so were you even in those earlier weeks of your pregnancy, but even like one 60 over a hundred, like you just said, that's high, right?

That's high for anyone.

But when you know your baseline is even lower than the average, like you can start to say like, Hey, we really need to pay attention to this.

Right?

Like no one would ignore that BP in a pregnant person, but it's still so helpful to know your normals, like going into any part of your OB care because yes, you can then know like, this is abnormal for me, even if it's not abnormal for my best friend.

Like that type of thing.

Mm-hmm.

So.

So, yeah.

So they were just really concerned, like, are you symptomatic?

Are, is your vision changing?

How are you feeling?

And I, I mean, I felt fine.

I was eating, I was, again, I was just like, yeah, they're not gonna let me eat at some point because I know that they're gonna be worried about my blood pressure now.

Mm-hmm.

I don't know what kind of meds they're gonna wanna start.

It was also the one weekend that month that my OB was not on call, so I got the hospitalist, which mm-hmm.

They were great, but again, just not what I was expecting, going into my like, labor and delivery situation.

And so,

Lauren, can I ask a question?

Did you have Yeah.

Hopes leading up to labor about like how you were wanting it to go or?

Yeah.

You know, like natural unmedicated.

I don't want pot.

I don't know, like that kind of birthplace stuff.

Yeah.

I,

it's funny being a nurse and most of my friends are, yeah.

Are nurses.

Not all of them, but.

I think it's funny because we're in the medical system, so you sometimes see how too much medical intervention can start causing mm-hmm.

Like the cascade of things.

And so I went in very determined to, basically I was, my goal was to go on medicated.

Now I wasn't opposed to getting IV push pain meds or my hospital offered nitrous, like if I felt like I needed it to help my body relax.

But I really wanted to kind of push my body and test myself.

And also just kind of empower myself to see how long I could go without those types of things, and see if I was able to really do that.

And so my goal was as little medical intervention as possible, whether that was meds or, like pain meds or pitocin or them breaking my water or things like that.

I just really wanted, I, I ideally would've gone into labor naturally.

Right.

You know, I wish I would've been able to.

Be at home and labor at home and not have to go and get induced.

But that was my initial goal and my preferences.

But I had also, I mean, I'm not made, kind of made he wanted to also, but I had my husband watch the, like, the birth course with me because I was like, God forbid I'm not able to advocate for myself or something starts going awry or I'm not paying attention.

I want you to make sure that you know what I want and what we want for me And also then like once our daughter's born for our daughter, so that if I miss something, it's not just me.

Right.

And so, so he was on the same page with that.

I also had my best friend Paige that I mentioned earlier.

She was supposed to be there also.

She was the only other person that I was gonna have with me other than my husband, just 'cause she's a super strong, amazing support person and she had had.

An unmedicated VBAC with her, second.

And so I just, everything went wrong for her in her first pregnancy.

And so the fact that she then like found the strength within herself and within her support people to be able to do that, like that was who I wanted in my delivery room.

But she was, she never takes trips.

That was the one weekend she was out of town for a, of course, friends actually ride trip, so my OB wasn't there.

And one of my best friends wasn't able to be there, so it was just me and my husband kind of like throw the stuff in the car.

Our car seat wasn't installed yet.

We like brought the car seat, but it hadn't gotten, it was just a hot mess.

And so everything just kind of started moving fast in the sense that it kind of all happened at once.

But then obviously once you go to, once I got to the hospital to get induced because my body wasn't really, I'm gonna say ready yet, then it went slow, right?

So I, my blood pressure was.

One sixties, over a hundred.

And then they start, their protocol is to do, to take your blood pressure every 15 minutes or every 10 minutes for an hour.

And then if you have two high readings within that hour, they start you on three pushes of labetalol.

And then after that they, they go on to different interventions if those don't help.

And so, my repeat blood pressure 10 minutes later from my one sixties was one 70 over a hundred.

And so we started labetolol.

I had, I ended up having to get all four pushes of labetolol before it came back to, it needed to be less than one 60 over, less than 1 0 5.

So, and I ended up being one forties over high nineties.

And so, they said, yeah, you're definitely staying.

This isn't like a, we're gonna watch your blood pressure and send you home.

You're obviously staying.

And so.

Then it was kind of, my brain was starting to kick into gear, like, okay, like what are the things I need to think about?

What is, how is this gonna change what I want?

Because odds where I'm probably gonna end up on Pitocin, I'm probably gonna end up with interventions to help dilate my cervix and meds to help ripen it.

And things like that, that I wasn't necessarily, I wouldn't say I wasn't prepared for because I did go in with so much knowledge, from, not from my own knowledge, from your birth course, but, to, to kind of know what my options were gonna be.

And so it was just, okay, how are those gonna play out?

What it's gonna be offered first?

And still trying to advocate for myself within those intervention options.

And so yeah, I got admitted to l and d the only time I was ever symptomatic and I didn't even put the two and two together that this was a symptom 'cause they just kept asking me if I was having vision changes.

I wasn't, I was still talking.

I was still acting myself.

But there was one point right before my blood pressure kind of tipped and started to go back down.

After I started getting medicine for it, my husband looked at me and he goes, are you okay?

And I just kind of felt like I was floating.

Like I just kind of felt fuzzier and I just felt slower to respond.

I was still talking with the nurses, and the registration woman was in there and she was asking me all of our like, address and information and things like that.

And so I was still able to answer those, but I could just tell I was kind of fuzzy.

And I hadn't initially told my mom because my mom's a worrier.

I hadn't initially told my mom that I basically knew we were going to get induced because I knew she would start like panicking.

And.

I told my husband, I said, I need you to get my phone.

'cause he was in charge of my phone at this point.

I was like, I need you to call my mom and I'm gonna talk to her.

And I kind of knew at that point because that's not something I would typically do that like, I wasn't necessarily Okay.

And so I called her and I was like, yeah, they're admitting us.

My blood pressure's really high, but it's coming down, you know, that's all.

And I hung up and that was basically it, which I'm sure sent her into a spiral because obviously what, who I, my, I mean, Louise is 10 weeks old, but if she called me and was, you know, when she's older and I was like, yeah, you know, obviously you freak out a little bit.

So like, sorry mom.

I got into, yeah, I got up to labor and delivery and we just obviously were keeping track of my blood pressures.

Mm-hmm.

And they were staying like one thirties over eighties or nineties.

And so I didn't end up needing more meds at that point.

But, the hospitalist initially came in and I was, there was some debate on how faced I was.

The first, my OB that checked me said I was like 80% of faced.

It was like a centimeter.

And then the hospitalist came in and she said that I was 50% of face in a centimeter.

So, but I was still, I mean, Louise was still really high up.

Yeah.

They said I was at a negative too.

And so I was glad that I was at least a centimeter dilated because it, I wasn't starting from ground zero.

And so that was one of the things my nurses were at least super encouraging about.

They're like, Hey, you're not starting from square one.

That means you can get a balloon if you need it.

Mm-hmm.

Which is a lot better if you've already kind of started dilating a little bit.

And things like that.

They started me on Cytotec and I started with that.

They wanted to put me on mag.

Mm-hmm.

And like I said, my friend Paige had a terrible first pregnancy experience and the day before when we were talking about being induced and things like that, she was one of the few people that, got mag toxicity and delivered at the same hospital that I was now delivering at.

And they, this was years ago, but they.

Hadn't seen that, that frequently, and they didn't mm-hmm.

Necessarily know what to look for.

And she, her and her husband are both nurses and are super smart, amazing people.

And he basically had to kind of get aggressive with the medical staff and be like, no, she's going toxic.

Like she, this is not her.

She's not acting right.

Like something's really wrong.

Mm-hmm.

And they don't usually draw those levels for multiple hours after you start it and mm-hmm.

So I was nervous because I honestly had somebody that I was close to that that had to happen with.

And my blood pressure was coming down.

And I knew that if my goals were to have as little intervention as possible, I didn't wanna be tied to the bed.

I didn't wanna not be able to eat or drink.

I didn't like, I just knew that if I started down that road, there are a lot of the things that I wanted to be able to do, I wasn't gonna be able to do.

Mm-hmm.

And so I declined mag.

They made me sign an a MA form, which I was not expecting.

Especially being a nurse.

Okay.

Like, I've had patients sign a MA forms, when they're leaving, you know, the parents are taking their kids and they're, you know, we're done.

We don't want any more interventions, we're leaving.

Right?

And hey, you need to sign this.

Or sometimes they don't sign it, but mm-hmm.

You know, at least write it down in the chart.

And my labor and delivery nurse that first night, 'cause it was night shift, she was amazing.

And she is like, I've been a labor and delivery nurse for 10 years.

She's like, I'll be honest with you, do I think you need mag right now?

No.

But if you start creeping back up like you did, like I really, I mean, you're playing with stroking out, seizing things like that.

Like you don't wanna be doing that.

And I said, you're right, I don't.

So we can revisit that if it starts to get to that point, but it didn't.

And so I stayed off mag, which was so great.

And I feel like that definitely helped a lot with the things that then ended up coming.

And so I was able to get up and go to the bathroom.

They had me.

Because I was, they were just giving me cyto attack and checking my blood pressure and stuff.

I was still eating, I'm still drinking.

I could get up and go to the bathroom.

They weren't mad at me about that.

They waited till I had multiple hours of my blood pressure being fine though before they let me get up to go to the bathroom because they didn't want me like having some complication in the bathroom and them not knowing that I had gotten up.

And so then at about, I got there at 6:00 PM and then Saturday morning, so that next day at like one 30 ish in the morning, I started having contractions every three to four minutes.

And my pain was like very minimal.

I hadn't had any pain meds at that point.

My blood pressure was still like one 30 s and that was kind of it.

It started picking up about.

Three or so hours after that.

So it's almost five in the morning now on Saturday.

And my contractions are every two to three minutes I'd gotten more cyto attack.

I was feeling them.

And they were gonna hold my cyto attack to see, you know, if my body was gonna keep progressing on its own.

And they checked my cervix.

And I was a centimeter and a half, 60% of base, still at a negative two.

And my cervix was soft, but it was still really posterior.

And so, they were trying to see if my contractions would like pick up a rear level out.

And so it leveled out.

So we got more cyto attack.

And then we talked about how my hospital's policy is they can do up to six runs of cyto attack before they stop doing it.

And so, I talked to my nurses who I ended up with the same, my triage nurse the night before when I first got admitted for being induced ended up being my day shift labor and delivery nurse on Saturday, which is really sweet.

Mm-hmm.

And so, mm-hmm.

That doesn't always happen.

And so it was really, that was really nice.

And I basically talked with her and my previous night shift nurse when they were doing shift change about the balloon, because they had talked to me, the doctor had talked to me when they came in about doing a cervical balloon.

And I, obviously, my goal was to go in and do the little, the least amount of things and Right.

That was not how this was looking shaping up to be.

Mm-hmm.

And so I leveled with them and I said, look, they, at this point they knew I was a nurse 'cause I was asking tons of like really specific questions.

Yeah.

You can't hide it it forever.

No.

And so I said, be honest, would y'all do this?

You know, if you were having a kid, would this be something that you would do at this point?

And they were like, yes, because you're already a centimeter and a half, so you've already kind of started, your cervix is softening, we're giving you cyto attack.

Like this is a great adjunct to that.

And so I said, okay, great.

So we did the balloon, you know, got up, did all the things like that.

My blood pressure started to creep up a little bit and so then I like went and sat back down in bed.

But it also was, they had, the way that our monitors were set up is supposed to not take your blood pressure when you're having a contraction.

Like, 'cause it was automatically taking it and it did.

Mm-hmm.

And so I called my nurse right away and I said, that's not a real blood pressure, because it was during my contraction and it was hurting.

Yeah.

And she's like.

We'll just wait and see if the repeat one is not the high, because it started to look like it was getting high and it was not.

And so I ended up having one more time that my blood pressure crept up to one 70.

, And so I only ended up with two rounds of lab bedo all that time.

Mm-hmm.

And then they came right back down.

And so I was like, great, that's what we're still gonna do.

We're still gonna plan on just kind of like treating it as needed.

And then the most wild experience for me was all of these things.

It's like the little wins, like the little things that you still could kind of get your birth preferences in.

And so my water ended up naturally breaking with, I mean, granted I had the balloon in, but Right.

I, I was not expecting that at all.

And so that was really sweet.

Mm-hmm.

It was such a weird, again, you can't ex I can't describe it to my husband.

I tried to, like, there's no way to describe your water breaking unless you.

Experienced it.

Yeah.

I feel like, but I honestly thought the balloon had like broken because I just wasn't expecting my water to break on its own.

And so I called my nurse and I was like, Hey, I think the balloon is out of place.

It broke something like that.

And they were like, your water broke, Lauren, come on.

And so that was really sweet too because I was able to kind of pick up that little win throughout my labor process.

Mm-hmm.

And so after that I had bloody show, which was great.

I was, like five centimeters dilated at that point.

Still really posterior, so a negative two, but I mean it, at least my labor was starting to move itself long.

But then I knew, okay, my timer has kind of started, so my water broke at 2 45 on Saturday, so almost 24 hours since we had gone to the hospital.

2 45 in the afternoon.

I mean, and so I'm like, okay, so by.

2 45 in the afternoon tomorrow if baby's not here.

Like we're, we're talking about some other stuff.

And I had told my labor and delivery nurses my biggest goal.

Yes, I wanted to go unmedicated.

Yes, I wanted like all these things, but I said my biggest goal was to avoid having c-section if I could.

I just surgery's really scared of me.

I don't do well with general anesthesia if that ended up needing to be the case.

Like I just know that I just, that was my personal goal.

And I've had friends that have had c-sections and have had great experiences with them.

Yeah, I just, for me that was just something that if I could avoid it, I was going to try my best to.

And so, I had a little run in with one of the hospitalists 'cause there's two that are always on call and it's kind of the grab bag, whichever one's sleeping and not.

And so I, I had a little, I don't wanna say incident again.

I feel like being in healthcare, I don't wanna say you have a different kind of expectation of those that take care of you, but I feel like.

I try to treat my patients and their families how I would want my family and or my kids to kid to be treated.

Mm-hmm.

And I had one OB that came in and she was consistently trying to talk to me through my contractions.

And my contractions at this point were, I mean, I would say like a five out 10, like they were the kind where I could kind of talk through them.

But I really, if I wanted to try to relax my body, I really had to kind of start focusing on them.

Yeah.

And so.

I asked her, I was like, can we, can you wait till I'm done with this contraction?

Right.

It's, it's like four, we're talking like 45 seconds at this point.

Yeah.

'cause it's, I've already started it.

Like, can we just, and she just kept trying to talk to me through them.

And then she said she wanted me to start procardia for my blood pressure to kind of start taking daily to help level it out.

Mm-hmm.

And I had questions.

I was like, okay, so how long am I gonna be on this?

Is this something I'm gonna go home on?

Right.

How often do I take it?

What are the side effects?

What if I don't take it at all?

Like, just those kind of pro like step-by-step processes.

Can I have some time to think about it?

And she was, she seemed kind of offput that I asked mm-hmm.

To take.

She like talked to me about all those things and then I said, okay, so can I have some time to talk to my husband about it?

And you know, things like that.

'cause she said, I think you'll probably end up going home on it.

And again, I've never had.

Knock on wood.

I've never had issues, like health issues really.

Mm-hmm.

Like, I've really never been to the hospital.

I don't have chronic health problems.

Like, so this was a very different experience for me.

And, she seemed kind of agitated that I asked and my nurse was in the room when all this was happening and I looked at her and I said, is there, like, I really don't want, if I'm gonna deliver my baby today, I really don't want her delivering my baby.

I already didn't have my own ob I didn't feel comfortable with how, when I was trying to advocate for myself how she was responding to me.

Yeah.

And so she said, yeah, that was not necessarily the most appropriate.

And you do not, like we can request that the other OB comes.

Mm-hmm.

If that ends up happening today.

Mm-hmm.

Which made me feel really good and empowered as a patient, that my nurses were like willing to advocate for me.

'cause I also know that that's kind of hard when Yeah.

You need something.

And now instead of two doctors that you can call, there's only one.

Mm-hmm.

And you don't necessarily want to tell them that like.

Your patient doesn't want you back, but yeah.

You know, I, so I, having been a nurse and been in that position, I know how uncomfortable that is.

And so I was just so appreciative of my labor and delivery nurses that they were very, they were advocating for me too, I felt like.

Mm-hmm.

And that made my experience a whole lot better.

And so, yeah.

Throughout this whole time, Louise's heart rate in response to my contraction, she wasn't having B cells, but she was having variables like pretty much every contraction.

Mm-hmm.

She was having variables.

And so I had, I hadn't yet to start Pitocin because they were like, we're her heart rate's not stable enough.

Yeah.

We're not comfortable doing that.

And so I was kind of waiting for it to start leveling up.

Yeah.

And she just never did.

And so then one of the.

Obs came and talked to me about doing, they were like, we don't know if her heart rate's not correlating really well with your external monitor or what, but we would like to do the internal, like contraction monitoring and then her, like a fetal scalp electrode.

Yeah.

And again, I had like watched the videos and like learned about it.

Mm-hmm.

Again, I, I didn't think that that was gonna come to the point for me.

And so I talked to my nurses about it and I said, you know, I feel, my initial gut feeling is I'm comfortable with my contraction monitor because it's, I mean, my water's broken.

I had a balloon up there already that got taken out.

Yeah.

Like, you know, I, at this point I'm not, what's the harm, but I don't mind trying to get a better idea of how strong and how intense my contractions are being, especially if they're still trying to put me on pit because mm-hmm.

My nurses said, you know, if you have that monitor, then we can better titrate your pit and we can figure out Yeah.

That a little bit better and you might not have to get as much, and those kind of things.

And so I was really comfortable with that and I, but I was not comfortable with her, scalp electrode and I mm-hmm.

Said, can we try just doing my internal monitor for my contractions and if it's still not giving a good read for her fetal heart right, then we can talk about that.

But I would like to at least start with one and not necessarily jump to both at the same time, because they were presented to me from the OB both at the same time.

Mm-hmm.

And so, that OB said, sure, we can try.

And that was good enough.

Both of my balloon.

And then with this, internal contraction monitor, was the balloon still in or had it come out?

No.

Okay.

They took it out, after my water broke.

They took it out.

And so it took them to try my, took the hospitalist two tries on both.

Times for my balloon and for my internal contraction monitor, which also, like, I'm contracting at this point, like every few minutes I'm like a six outta 10 in pain.

I'm trying to breathe through it.

Like, you know, that's just not pleasant.

Them trying to like do it really quickly, in between contractions or not knowing when another contraction's gonna start.

And so that was frustrating too.

But obviously it is what it is.

I ended up throwing up when they put in the, my internal monitor the first time, just because I was in the middle of a contraction.

She was trying to finish it up really quick.

I ended up not getting it in, so she had to take it out and it was just like I was in so much pain from the contraction and from her trying to put that monitor in that I just threw up.

And so, I got Zofran then and I felt better after that.

And at that point I, I was about six centimeters and she was at like.

They didn't even really tell me what kind of station she was at, but she had dropped a little bit.

But I wasn't progressing very quickly.

And so Saturday night I was dealing with these contractions and my internal monitor and I was more in the bed Now I'd been, previously I'd been up and like laboring around the room, laboring in the bathroom.

My nurse was like feeding me popsicles and over the sink in the bathroom.

And I kind of looked at my husband and my contractions were getting worse and I felt myself not relaxing through them like I had been.

Mm-hmm.

Like everything was just tightening and everything was getting worse.

And then I was watching her heart rate dip farther every time that that would happen.

And I just kind of, I had this moment and I looked at my husband and I said, if I don't get an epidural, which like again, I wasn't going in wanting an epidural, but mm-hmm.

I was open to it if I needed to do that to avoid having a C-section.

'cause that was my ultimate goal was to not have one of those.

And so I said, I think that if I don't get an epidural now.

I keep trying to like grit it out.

My body is clearly not, Louise is not doing well with how my body's responding.

Mm-hmm.

And I don't want it to get to the point where they're like, we have to take you for a C-section right now.

And so, I ended up making the decision to get an epidural and honestly I felt like that was a really, I'm gonna say sweet experience for me because the only stories I had heard from people that got epidurals were like my mom's.

And she said that she basically felt nothing.

They had to tell her how to push, like all the things.

And that was just the opposite of what I wanted for my birth.

And I was really, honestly, really blessed.

I definitely felt like it was very much a gift.

From God that I, I could feel my, both my legs, I was able to still labor on hands and knees because that's what Louise responded to best.

My labor and delivery nurse was not keen on getting me on my hands and knees with my epidural.

And, but she saw that I was like moving my own body weight.

Yeah.

When they were trying to help and I was like, no, I can lift my butt up, I can move myself around.

It was like, oh, okay.

And they were all about trying to get me to switch positions 'cause her heart rate kept dipping.

Mm-hmm.

And so I said, just let me try hands and knees, just let me try it and if it doesn't work after a few contractions, like we can go back to being on my back or on my side or whatever.

Yeah.

But she loved it and that was the position that we were able to start Pitocin in.

So I was really grateful for that.

Also because I had that internal contraction monitoring, they gave me an amnioinfusion through that.

Mm-hmm.

Because they were worried that maybe she's got some cord issues or she's on her cord and that's what causing her heart rate to go down and stuff like that.

So.

Just like lots of things all going on at once.

I know you're throwing out

like all the vocab, you know, like Yes.

Amnioinfusion, IUPC, like all this stuff.

Like in the course or as well though.

Yes.

'cause it's like when they start throwing all this stuff at you, you're like, I have no idea what an amnioinfusion is.

You know, or whatever it is.

Exactly.

Yeah.

It was, it was definitely less overwhelming because I at least kind of knew right.

What the things were.

And then I had such, such great nurses that were willing to sit down and like, really talk me through what that looked like.

Good.

What I Yeah.

Could not like what I could or couldn't say no to.

'cause at the end of the day, like I still had the choice, but what would be most advantageous to get me to reach the goals that I want.

Right.

And so, yeah.

So I got my epidural at.

00 PM that Saturday night.

So just over 24 hours from being in the hospital.

And I started Pitocin then because our, a couple hours after that because the OB that was on call looked at my nurses and was like, as soon as that heart rate level's out stagger, I want her on pit.

Like, we need her to start her on pick because my contractions were, they were anywhere from like two to four minutes, but they were, they were still varying super greatly and they were intense, but they weren't picking up like they should have been.

And so, I, yeah, I had a great time.

I still felt my contractions, I still was in pain.

I was still having to breathe through them.

But then I, I only ended up on four milligrams of Pitocin.

I only got to go up once because her heart rate just wasn't responding super great.

And so at.

1230 that Sunday morning now.

So like super early Sunday morning, my nurse checked me and she said she couldn't find my cervix, but could feel my baby's head.

So, you know, they called the on-call OB and they said, oh wait, don't let her.

And I told her, I said, I'm starting to feel like I have to poop and all my friends are like you.

When you start feeling like you're gonna poop.

Yeah.

This, when you know your body's gonna start trying to push your baby out.

And so mm-hmm.

I knew that, I told Ben, I was like, I really, really have to poop.

Like, I really feel like this is starting.

And the obese said, no, wait for me to get there.

I wanna check her, blah, blah, blah.

And so we were waiting and I looked at my nurse and I said, we can wait, but like, I'm gonna start pushing like my baby.

Like I can feel what's going on.

Mm-hmm.

And so.

About 45 minutes later, the OB still hadn't shown up.

And so my nurse called back and was like, look, that's a long time.

I know.

So I don't know what they got into.

Yeah.

But she was like, look, we're starting stuff.

So she wheeled the card in.

Mm-hmm.

I started pushing at like one 40 in the morning.

Mm-hmm.

And I just under an hour later had my daughter.

It was actually the very end of it.

Everything, just kind of, everything that could've, I don't wanna say gone wrong in like a funny sense, but like my OB was an on call.

My best friend was outta town.

Like the things that, you know, I, I had the ob I had met her that was gonna be one of the ones that was gonna deliver my baby.

They had switched from the one that I had previously said I'd prefer her not to come back.

She was off that day.

So I had two fresh ones, which was great.

And the OB walked in 'cause my nurse was like, Hey, she's like right there.

My OB walked in, she's getting gowned up, and they get a V broadcast over everybody's vs.

And it said, we have a stat C-section from room 29 or from room, whatever, that's a 29 weeker.

And so both of, and those were the hospitalist patients.

So both of the hospitalists then had to go deal with that in the or.

And so my hos, my ob hospitalist ob looked at me and she goes, I'm really sorry.

And I'm like, minutes away from having my kid.

Like, yeah, she's like, I'm really sorry.

I will send somebody in for you, but I have to go.

And I was like, okay.

I mean, like at this point I'm like, full blown, like, yeah, like, you know, I'm pushing her out.

I'm breathing, I'm, my husband's like, who's gonna be here to catch this baby?

Like, I just, so, there was a, there's a midwife group that runs through our hospital and one of the midwives came in literally.

I didn't even know her name until after I delivered my daughter.

She gowned back.

She's like, hi, so you're really close.

We're gonna, we're just gonna deliver her now.

And I was like, okay, great.

And I gave like a few more pushes after that, and that was it.

I will say I directed a lot of my pushing effort.

My labor and delivery nurse asked if I wanted her to help.

And I said, if you don't feel like I'm pushing effectively, or if you don't see her starting to move down, then please tell me.

But my body was like starting to do those things anyway, so, and because I got really lucky with my epidural, I felt all the things and so I was like, I feel like I know how I'm needing to push.

They also really wanted me to push on my back and I wasn't opposed to that, but I was like, I would rather try to push on my side.

I just felt better kind of being mm-hmm.

On my side and kind of like having the bed to kind of hold onto instead of being crunched.

And.

Again, they said, we'll let you try and if her heart rate's not doing good, then we're gonna switch you into what we want.

And luckily that worked fine.

So I only ended up pushing on my back for the last couple pushes.

'cause the midwife came in and she was uncomfortable with me pushing on my side.

And I was like, at this point, I don't care.

Like, she's like three pushes away from me being here, so.

Right, right.

Yeah, so I pushed her out and I'm really glad that it came with the last push that it did because her heart rate dropped to like 40 And, my, I didn't hear this again.

You're just in your like mm-hmm.

Labor bubble.

But my husband said that my nurse was like, oh crap, because like the, the thing did real hard.

Yeah.

And she came out and I told them, I was like, I want to wait till her.

Cord turns white before we cut it.

And obviously like they do skin to skin right away and things like that.

Mm-hmm.

Her cord was really short.

So I think that probably had something to do with it, and it honestly looked puny like it was mm-hmm.

Skinnier than I was expecting.

And then what they were expecting, and so they put her on me, but I couldn't really pull her all the way up to me.

She kind of had to sit like down here.

Mm-hmm.

Because my cord was shorter and then she wasn't, they gave her an APGAR scores of eight and nine, but I feel like a was being kind of generous because they took her from me after like a minute and they took her to the warmer because she was not pinking up very great.

And so they basically looked at my husband and they said, I know you guys wanna wait till you cut the, to cut the cord until it turns white, but it came out white.

Like there was not.

They're like, it's not pul it, there's nothing to it.

Mm-hmm.

So are you okay with us cutting it?

And he was like, yeah, that's fine.

And so then he went with my daughter to the warmer while they were trying to stimulate her and kind of wake her up a little bit, pink her up.

I ended up with a first degree tear, which was also really sweet.

Mm-hmm.

And I think a lot of the fact that I had a first degree tear and that I was able to be on a lower dose of pit and things like that was because I let my body do a lot of the work at the beginning.

And I waited till I was six centimeters before I got my epidural.

And my body had kind of progressed a lot on its own.

And so, I was really grateful for that too, because I felt like, again, not that you have any control necessarily over how much you tear, but mm-hmm.

Especially being a first time.

Mom.

I just know that the incidents of having a more significant tear is a little bit higher.

Yeah.

The first time around.

And I was really grateful.

I had one external stitch and a couple internal stitches, and that was it.

And so that was really sweet.

I have like a right-leaning uterus, which I didn't know, but they thought that my bladder was descending my uterus for a while, and so they ended up trying to calf me three different times to get.

What they thought was urine out and they basically got no urine out.

And that was really trying, that was worse than pushing her out, was getting a calf right after everything's like all swollen and Yeah.

It's not, oh, and they took my Foley out right before I gave birth to her.

Right.

Obviously from my epidural.

And so I mm-hmm.

Yeah.

That was a hot mess.

And then I ended up getting, I didn't end up with blood until the day after I had her.

Okay.

Because they checked my h and h and it was low.

And then I ended up five weeks postpartum, ending up getting a D and c.

Okay.

So I had retained placenta.

Mm-hmm.

Which went undetected for five weeks.

My bleeding got better and then it started getting really bad again and again.

I should have listened to my own.

I felt like I listened to my gut really well during my labor process.

But my postpartum, again, it's all new.

I'm a first time mom, like.

I kind of knew that things were going sideways and being a nurse, I've never called 9 1 1.

I try to avoid going to the hospital.

Like I don't.

Yeah.

You know?

But I ended up having, I almost passed out in the shower.

I like fell on the floor of our shower, from bleeding so much.

And I had my husband call 9 1 1 and we went to the emergency room when I was five weeks postpartum and got a DNC.

And since then I've been doing a lot better.

I feel like I finally have been able to kind of start, not only does it help that now I'm 10 weeks postpartum with my daughter.

So like her in her little routine is starting to normalize a little bit, but mm-hmm.

I feel like my hormones are finally starting to level out.

Which, I mean, if I thought, I think about it, like my body was half trying to be pregnant.

'cause it was, it was continuously feeding my placenta.

It was super vascular.

And what was left anyway.

And so, but my body was also trying to be postpartum.

I just felt like there was a lot that I hadn't really gotten to like stabilize mood wise.

And I know that we go through like so many hormonal swings and some of that's normal, but I have felt so much more myself and able to, you know, my mood swings that come naturally with being postpartum and things like that.

I feel like I'm able to handle them a lot better than I was, at the beginning.

And so just lots of my initial unmedicated dreams and UN intervention, like less intervention dreams kind of like went to the wayside, but mm-hmm.

I still feel like I can speak super positively about my birth experience because I had great nurses and great support within the hospital setting.

And also because I had a good base knowledge of what might be offered to me mm-hmm.

Based on how my situation was changing.

Mm-hmm.

And Obviously my daughter's, I mean, not obviously, but my daughter's doing great.

She's been fine.

She was born six pounds, so she was a little nugget.

And she's almost nine pounds now.

And so I would do all of it again to have her or to have another one of her.

But it definitely was not how I initially thought, like my whole process was gonna go.

So yeah.

Yeah.

Lauren, I like lots

of

No, it's perfect.

I like listening to your story 'cause you kept pointing out like little wins and priorities and ways.

Mm-hmm.

Where you could still kind of like grab the reins back and I think that that's a super valuable thing to take into the hospital setting of like assuming all is not gonna go exactly like I want to.

Like if it were not to like the ability to say like, I'm gonna like take this for myself and I'm gonna take this for myself and I'm gonna see like, I grabbed this because I had to say, or I had to let this go.

I just think it's such a valuable skill to walk into our birth with wherever we wanna deliver or however we want it to go, because I think that we.

A lot of times we're gonna have to make a concession about something and maybe it's small, like I wanted to wear my own thing and it didn't happen it or whatever.

But there's also maybe some big concessions coming.

And so it was just kind of cool to hear you processor say, tell that out loud, how you could see places where you're like, no, I still was there and I owned this.

And I, yeah.

Got to say that was my choice and I had a voice inside of that and stuff.

'cause obviously that's like a huge thing about hospital births or those who have trauma as well as like I'd felt like I didn't show up in any of it.

And so, mm-hmm.

If we

can like take that back a little bit, like to me that's the beginning of better stories.

Maybe not perfect stories every time, but definitely better stories.

Yeah.

Yeah.

And I think too that the, having the mindset that I knew, even if I, you know, didn't end up needing to eat induced and none of that kind of stuff happened, I still knew that there were probably some things that they were gonna.

Suggest or gonna want to do or mm-hmm.

Even if I declined them, like they would still bring them up.

And so I think just going in with the mindset that like, one of the things I really took away from when my husband and I watched your course that I like, just kept repeating to myself was that their preferences or priorities not like this is a hundred percent like a set plan, like it because I'm the kind of person, like I'm super type A in the fact that if I'm making a to-do list or if I'm making a plan, or if I'm setting out to do something, like that's what I want to do.

And I knew that if I let myself kind of get into that head space of, well these are the things that I planned, if it didn't go according to my plan because it needed to change for the safety of me or my daughter, that I was, I knew myself and I knew that that was gonna make me probably spiral a little bit And mm-hmm.

So I just went in saying, these are the things that are most important to me, and if I can achieve these things.

Over here, but these things are kind of up in the air.

Maybe I get them.

Maybe I don't.

That's okay too.

Yeah.

And I think that focusing on what few things were super important to me helped because I, I really feel like if I would've delayed my epidural with how her heart rate and stuff was going, especially how I saw it, even right before I gave birth to her and ended up pushing her out, I really think that I would've gotten steered into a C-section direction.

Mm-hmm.

Which would've probably been to benefit her.

Obviously they wouldn't just like Right.

Have me do that for no reason.

But my nurses knowing that my goal was to avoid that, you're super honest with me and upfront, and even the first full day we were there, they said, I know that you, and you know, ideally would not want pain medicine or an epidural or things like that, but would you take an epidural over getting the C-section?

Mm-hmm.

And I was like, yeah, I would.

So that helps kind of reprioritize too because mm-hmm.

It helps when you trust the not, I mean, obviously I trust my husband and stuff like that, but he's not medical at all, so he was kind of like a deer in headlights with all the things.

But trusting my nurses and the people that were around me taking care of me definitely made it easier to let go of the things that didn't matter as much Yeah.

In the long run.

Yeah.

And so I'm just, I'm just really grateful that it happened the way that it did and that I was able to pick up the, the winds that I could.

Yeah.

So,

yeah.

Well that was a great, like, I just again, love hearing it a hospital birth, story that.

You can come out of it and say, say that and feel that way and say, Hey, there's care providers who showed up for me and they were so valuable.

And that's the goal, right?

Like that everyone gets that l and d nurse where they're like, she literally helped me do this.

And so we can't always know that's gonna happen.

But definitely when it does, it's just such a gift too.

Okay.

I know you mentioned, being a student in your body of birth.

Are, were there any other resources, books, podcasts, things that you loved that helped you prep for Babe or postpartum too?

Honestly, no.

With, all of the, like you had a lot going on.

Yes.

I was gonna say, all of the things happening all at once.

It was hard to find time to finish the birth course anyway because we, I wanted to sit down and do it with my husband.

He works a normal nine to five.

I was.

Off.

I, I left work early because I was super swollen and uncomfortable and my doctor was like, you need to be home now.

Mm-hmm.

And so it was hard to find time to finish that, but I remember the week before I got induced, we had like, half of it left and I looked at him and I was like, we have to crank this out this week.

I just know we have to crank this out this week, and I wanna make sure that we're on top of it.

Yeah.

And so we did, and literally we finished it, I think two days before I went to get induced.

Mm-hmm.

And so I also just talked, I mean, just like, I feel like a lot of people, I just talked to people around me that had had different birth stories and I feel like mm-hmm.

That helped too.

Because like my friend that had mag toxicity, super rare, but I know that that can happen.

Right.

And so I felt like if I did need mag or they put me on it, or I started having symptoms again, and I needed to be on it, I felt like I at least knew kind of what to look for because it's one of those things that gets thrown in the air and it's like, yeah, it's super rare though.

Right.

But.

You know, and then my mom had an epidural and went in wanting an epidural.

I, when she was pregnant with me, I was, almost two weeks overdue.

And so, like, she had a completely different birth story.

She was like, I didn't go into labor on my own at all.

I got to the hospital and immediately wanted an epidural.

And, you know, my friends have had c-sections and natural births and in a hospital and with a midwife group at a birthing center.

And I just, I think that that helps.

Helped a lot.

Yeah.

Because I kind of got to just like with raising kids, right?

Like you get to get wisdom from the people around you, but then you get to pick and choose the things that fit you and what your goals are.

And so that was something that, that was pretty much all I did other than that.

And pray a lot.

So much all the time's.

A lot to Yes.

Just that everything could go okay and that she was healthy and that I was healthy.

And then when I started to not be healthy, it's like, okay, but can I still stay relatively healthy with how it's already kind of started to turn, you know, those kind of things.

That's pretty much it.

Yeah.

Lots of prayer.

And it's a birth, it sounds like it

served you well, honestly, it did.

Yeah.

Okay.

Where, if people wanted to ask you like a question about something that came up mm-hmm.

Or wanted to reach out, is there somewhere that you feel comfortable they could do that?

Instagram, email, anything like that?

Yeah.

Yeah.

They can definitely reach out to me through Instagram.

My Instagram's public.

Okay.

And then, yeah, it's just, it's my maiden name, so my maiden name is Marines.

And it's funny 'cause people always think that it has some like military affiliation.

Yeah.

But no one in my family's ever been in the military.

That was just our last name.

But yeah, my Instagram is L for my first name and then Marines and that's it.

And I would love, I mean, I think also being a nurse, like I just love educating and being able to talk about stuff.

So I'm an open book with all of the things.

Mm-hmm.

Okay.

We'll put it in the show notes so someone can have that if they want it.

Yeah.

And then last thing, just for fun, what's something in your life that's just sparking a ton of joy for you right now?

Sparking a ton of joy.

I would say.

Mm-hmm.

So we watched The Sword in a Stone.

We're watching Jungle Book right now.

Mm. And that's kind of how we've been winding down.

At the end of the day, we were doing, you know, series, like new series on Netflix or whatever for a while.

And then we kind of were like, you know what?

We kind of miss all those like super old cartoons that we used to watch when we were younger.

And so, we've just been going through like the Disney catalog of like old cartoons and movies.

I love that.

That's so cute.

So yeah, that's been really sweet.

Okay.

How we wind down at the end of the day now.

So

is Louise going to bed at like a normal time yet or is she then still up with you guys?

'cause you're right at that point it feels like Yes.

She,

Has been, she'll go to bed.

Her last feed is anywhere from like between 10 and.

1130? Yeah.

At nine.

Okay.

And then she'll sleep.

Usually she'll sleep until at least five.

Mm-hmm.

That's great.

That's amazing.

The other night she slept till seven and it freaked both of us out.

We were like, I bet we woke up and we were like, what is going on?

But she is mainly bottle, she's mainly bottle fed breast milk because her latch is terrible.

And we had to get tongue cheek, lip tie, all the things rev revised and Okay.

And so he feeds her in the middle of the night and all pump.

Okay.

But like last night she got up at four 30 and then she went back to sleep until we woke her up at.

Like nine to feed her.

So she gets like two good chunks.

Usually yes, of sleep on either end.

But the one night she slept through the night was, I know always the first time normal, like what is that?

Like, what's going on?

And then of course she went right back to her normal self waking up in the middle of the night.

Yeah.

But yeah.

Well I love that

movie and baby time.

'cause eventually they'll like go to bed earlier, but you're still kind of in that spot where I feel like so many newborns Yeah.

Don't really go to bed, however you wanna say that until 10 11 or so.

Yeah.

And that's when they're truly like down for the night, so.

Mm-hmm.

That'll change.

I love it.

Yep.

Well thank you Laura and for sharing your story, for sharing all the like little bits and the wind and stuff.

I just, I loved hearing it, so thank you.

Yeah, thank you.

I appreciate it a lot.

And thank you for having me.

Your course was great and it helped me a lot and I feel like that was one of the only reasons that I felt as prepared that I, as I did so Good.

Just thank you.

Thank you.

And thank you for all the education that you give out freely all the time.

You're welcome.

Thanks Lauren.

Thank you.

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